Make it Fly
by isabellacullenlover23
Summary: Edward Cullen is used to finding himself in complex situations.  He's also used to running away from them.  But when his best friend is at the heart of his newest complication, he realizes that running away might cost him what he wants most.
1. A Day in the Life

**Make it Fly**

**_AN: This is a re-post. It was formerly 'Unexpected Bliss', but due to some thinking and chats with _Janiceelynn (Thanks so much to her, btw, for all her input and ideas :) She helped me so much with making this chapter good!)_ I decided the title and plot needed some re-working to make it more interesting. I also appreciate greatly her previewing this chapter prior to me uploading it as well!_**

_**Thanks to the Betas at Project Team Beta for all their help on this chapter, especially furious kitten and Amanda! You guys are awesome!**_

_**So I hope you all enjoy!**_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1- EPOV- A Day in the Life<strong>

New York City: the city that never sleeps.

I have lived in New York State my entire life but never spent much time in the actual city until I moved here. For some reason that bridge into the city seemed like a whole other world.

I grew up on Long Island, which isn't far from the city at all; it's only about an hour car drive away from where I lived. It was a quiet neighborhood where everyone knew one another. Every house had a ton of open space and it was rarer for someone not to have a pool than to have one.

I'm not quite sure what's so special about this city and why everyone seems to rave about it; it's noisy, there's always traffic and everything is overpriced.

The one thing that keeps me here, besides the fact that I have a decent job, is my best friend.

She loves the city, and has always believed there's something special and magical about it. She loves the constant hustle and bustle of all the crowds; people always seeming like they were on an important mission.. Often times I come home and see her sticking her head out of our apartment window just admiring all that occurs on the streets of Manhattan.

The other thing that isn't so bad about living in the city is the sports. We love to go see sporting events live, and often do. It doesn't matter which team you are cheering for.. It could be the Rangers in the winter or the Yankees in the summer, but nothing beats the buzz of the crowd, the way the atmosphere of a big game feels like the entire world depends on the outcome. How you can feel the anticipation that is evident in every fan,waiting for the victory we all hope is coming. Not to mention, it's amazing how fun it is to act like a moron, singing along with thousands of fans everytime the Rangers score a similarly boo-ing the opposing team when they hit a homerun. You become totally immersed in the excitement; it's like an alternate universe. That's another thing I love about my best friend, she loves sports just as much as I do.

We share a lot in common.

We grew up around the corner from each other, though we only met in high school.

I even dated most of her friends.

We ended up having a lot of the same classes, and thank God for that because without her tutoring my ass I probably wouldn't have passed.

By senior year of high school the two of us were damn near inseparable, though it felt like that long before then. It seems that since the day we met, we were always thrown together, sometimes in some awkward situations.

Flashback-_It was freshman year and a pain in the ass to go anywhere on my own. I had to rely on public transportation to get me from place to place. Sometimes, I swear I could get places faster by walking. I couldn't wait until I could get my license and my own car.. I wanted the freedom of going where I wanted, when I wanted._

_I was supposed to meet my girlfriend at the mall fifteen minutes ago_b_, but basketball practice ran late. Jess wanted me to meet her friends and I was tired of hearing her bug me about it. It didn't really mean all that much to me; I was mostly doing it for her sake, so I wasn't in much of a hurry. I was interested in her, so I supposed if I wanted to keep up a relationship with her, I should get to know her friends too._

_Jess and I had only been dating for about 2 weeks. Even though we all went to the same high school, Ward Melville High, it was a pretty large school and I had yet to meet her two closest friends. I wasn't quite sure what to expect from them. Jess was quite perky and excitable and I wondered if her friends would be much of the same. I had no idea how I would deal with 3 hyper girls shopping throughout the mall._

_I sent Jess a text to let her know I would be there in ten minutes. She replied that she and her friends would be in Victoria's Secret and that I should meet them there._

_It was quite awkward walking into such a chick store without one next to me. But I shook it off, my girl would be soon enough._

_I assumed that since I didn't see them roaming the store, they were probably trying shit on. So I sat myself down in a plushy chair right in front of the fitting rooms._

_I kept my eyes straight ahead for the most part, except when a door would open. It wasn't that I was trying to catch a peek; I just wanted to see if the girl coming out was _my_ girl._

_When I caught a glimpse of what came out of the door next, I was shocked._

_She was stunning. She had long, almost straight brown hair and ivory-colored skin. She was wearing glasses but beyond them she had deep, chocolate brown eyes. Her lips were pink and pouty._

_But it wasn't her face that was grabbing my attention, though it probably normally would have. Something more appealing to the male mind was controlling my thoughts._

_It was her half naked torso that was._

_She stood there shocked, frozen in place and without a shirt._

_Her slim upper body was on complete display, clad in only a tiny black lace bra that showed off her full chest and was begging to be stared at._

_I couldn't help but be amazed at the girl standing in front of me._

"_Jess? Rose?" she yelled out._

_The two doors next to her opened up on cue, and out came my Jess and a blonde who resembled a Barbie._

"_You realize you have no shirt on, right?" Blondie asked her._

"_I wanted your opinion. I had no idea that creeps like this one," she said, pointing in my direction, "would be stalking lingerie dressing rooms."_

_At this point her arms were crossed over her chest, and I couldn't contain my laughter at the whole situation._

_I put my hands up in defense, still smiling. "Not a creep. I was just waiting for my girlfriend," I said, pointing to Jess. "I had no idea that girls walked out of dressing rooms half naked to show their friends. If that was the case, I would have been coming into this store a long time ago."_

_Jess took this opportunity to speak up and introduce us to each other. "Bella, this is Edward. Edward, this is Bella and Rose."_

_I stuck my hand out for Bella to shake, knowing well that in order to she would have to stop covering herself up. She obviously didn't reciprocate, but she did manage to flip me off before marching back into the changing room to get dressed._

_I laughed the entire time._

From then on we just clicked as friends, being around her was simple. It took a while for her to warm up to me after our little incident and by "a while", I mean an hour but before anyone knew it, we were play fighting and laughing and having a good time.

That day became famous to us, and we had quite a few laughs thinking back on it. The Christmas after the incident, I attempted to draw a bra on the front of her card. That earned me a swift smack on the head.

I got that smack a lot, especially our first summer. That first summer was complicated to say the least. Both of us got ourselves into situations we both wish we could take back. As pathetic as it sounds, I was glad I had someone like her around to help me through it. I swear I probably would have gone crazy if she wasn't there mediating the situation.

I had still been dating Jess but she always wanted to have Bella and Rose around, a,.,and before I knew it, I was hanging out with them on my own time without her.

Somehow, Rose and I started hooking up. Did I mention this all happened with Bella well aware of it? Since she found out, she was put in the middle of this constant triangle between Jess, Rose and I.

Bella kept the secret that Rose and I were fooling around. She always covered for us, saying that Rose was with her and that I had basketball practice or something to do with my family.

She had to hear Jess complain about us fighting and that she thought I was cheating. She listened to Rose complain about how I was a pig stringing her and Jess along. And then she listened to me work out my mixed emotions on the whole fucked up situation. I don't know how she managed to stay sane or why she continued to talk to any of us at all.

That complex situation continued, on and off, over our sophomore and some of our junior year. Jess and I continued to date pretty steadily in the next year and a half. Immaturity and lack of control over my hormones, led to Rose and I hooking up a few times behind her back.

Jess and I would constantly fight, mostly over stupid shit. Sometimes the fights would lead to breaking up, which all varied in length, anywhere from an hour to a few days. Rose was normally the first person I'd run to, throwing a lot of my frustration out on her.

The things between Rose and I stayed pretty PG most of the time, but as time moved on and Jess got on my nerves more and more, the boundaries of our relationship kept expanding. In our junior year, Rose and I lost our virginities with each other. After that, Jess and I's relationship had reached its end and shortly after Rose and I decided we were better off as friends. To this day, I never found out if Jess ever realized the extent to which Rose and I's relationship went.

Bella hated the drama that ensued, and it strained her relationship with all three of us. There were days, sometimes weeks where Bella stopped talking to me because she was mad about some stupid thing I did, which was often. She did that with Rose and Jess too; we were all pretty dumb with how we dealt with the situation.

We always worked it out though.

Of course, Bella had shit she needed to work through too.

That summer she was with her first boyfriend, James Hunter. Although she was extremely good looking, she managed to shy away from romantic relationships up until then. Bella was just fourteen that summer, while James had just graduated; he was eighteen. Rose, Jess and I all thought he was a douche and honestly no good for her, but she was happy and didn't think we even knew what a "good" relationship was, considering the one we were all involved in.

I hated to say I told her so.

He wanted more than she was willing to give, but he got her to give it anyways. She kept saying she never told him no, but admitted that she never really wanted to. Her main fear was losing him if she didn't do it because he would find someone else that would.

They continued their "relationship" even after what he had done to her. He never got the chance to attempt to pressure her into more because a week later, he left for college out of state.

The relationship ended when he returned for Christmas; he refused to see her unless she would sleep with him. She didn't want to so he wouldn't go to see her. That finally got her to see the light and thankfully, she ended it after that.

Occasionally the relationship haunted her and she felt like she was used and dirty. She didn't understand why he would say that he loved her or tell her that she was his first when all he wanted was sex. She constantly felt down and struggled with nightmares and bouts of depression. She had a lot of days spent in bed or crying for no apparent reason. Some days, she would be in a complete daze, almost like her body was there but her mind was a million miles away. I could have killed the bastard for the way he broke her spirit.

I was the only one she talked to about it. She trusted that I would be the only person that wouldn't judge her and would just listen. So I did. Of course, I had to bite my tongue and avoid saying I told you so, but I felt terrible that her first relationship caused her so much pain for so long.

I never stopped being there for her though, just like she was for me.

That's how it was with us though, w e trusted each other with everything we had.

When college rolled around, Bella and I both got into Hunter College in the city. Neither one of us wanted to commute every day, and since Hunter didn't have dorms, we decided to split an apartment together.

We got a little place that cost a small fortune to two college freshmen. It was simple; two closet-sized bedrooms, a tiny living room and a kitchen/dining room. It wasn't much but it was someplace warm to stay and with the help of our parents we made it work.

Bella had known what she wanted to do since she was young. She wanted to be a nurse who specialized in neonatal care. Her life was completely lined up and going in the right direction.

I, on the other hand, had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. The only reason I was going to college was because that's what you were supposed to do: graduate high school, go to college and then enter the real world with some sort of skill.

Though I knew that was what I was supposed to do, I wasn't passionate about my education at all. I got lazy, drank a lot and occasionally smoked. I partied a little too hard and dated an endless string of girls without any real potential. Basically, I sucked at life.

And I sucked especially at relationships.

Jess and Rose were my first real girlfriends and that situation was entirely fucked up, so I never really had an honest, normal relationship. Plus, most times I ended up saying or doing the wrong things. I was a bit overprotective and sometimes took it too far. The girls I dated didn't appreciate it bu t I knew how guys were; I was proof of how guys could be assholes.

I never got in trouble. Sure I got in the occasional fight or flunked a class, but the trouble was never serious. I knew that the path I was going down was going to lead into some major trouble if I didn't straighten myself out.

Next thing I knew I was sitting in an Air Force recruiting station listening to all the opportunities that the Air Force could give me.

I signed my name on the dotted line and was enlisted and set to leave for basic training just before I turned 20.

I could tell that my parents and Bella were worried and didn't quite understand my decision to go into the Air Force. They told me how much they would miss me and that I could do anything with my life, that didn't involve going away. Even though they had their reservations, they still said that they would support me.

Basic training kicked my ass. It was done in Texas and a lot of the drills were done outside, in the blistering heat.

I had always been in good shape; I played basketball most of my high school career, so I had to be to a certain extent. I took good care of myself and worked out often. I thought that I was at the peak of my own fitness. Even my good fitness wasn't enough; basic training took my fitness to a different level. I got myself physically fit like I had never been before but I also got myself mentally fit. You had to in order to survive. Basic training kicks you down to your foundation and then you had to build yourself back up. You had to learn to compartmentalize your emotions and keep everything in check. Focusing on your tasks and leaving everything else behind was key.

I learned discipline and how to follow orders. In infantry divisions, if you don't follow orders, people can die. Due to that every order, no matter how minuscule, has to be followed. You do what you are told and that's it.

It forced me to grow up and mature.

After basic training, which teaches just basic military and fighting technique, I went into technical training.

My technical training focused mostly on aviation. I thought, prior to my enlisting, that the Air Force consisted only of Aviation and Piloting. But there is a lot more to it. I took different courses throughout my four years in Aerospace control, aviation management and air traffic control. I took courses that would prepare me to be a pilot. A lot of people, including my family, thought that by going into the Air Force I would need to devote longer than four years and would most likely be deployed. If you aren't an officer and go into piloting school, you can spend your time on base taking these classes that prepared you to become a pilot, as well as earn a degree.

In order to be a pilot, I would need to attend this rigorous 12-week officer training program. From there I could train to become a pilot. That appealed to me; I kept thinking of the movie 'Top Gun. Finding some fellow Air Man to become my Goose and then I would flip the aircraft upside down and fly underneath him. That shit was bad ass!

But before that I would need a bachelor's degree. So that's what all my classes did for me.

Before my four years were up, I earned my bachelor's degree and continued to train in the aviation sections in the Air Force. My motivations weren't high enough to push myself in officer school, yet.

I finished out my four year contract with the Air Force and went into the reserves. Without having my pilot's license, there wasn't any need for me to be deployed. Some of the guys that I went to basic with went into medic training, and they got deployed for short missions in underprivileged areas to assist there. The Air Force spent my contract grooming me to be able to use me in bigger missions rather than rush me out into the battlefield. So, after my four years, I wasn't honorably discharged but instead in the reserves. That meant that if my services were needed, the Air Force could enlist me automatically. I could go back if I wanted to on my own, which I wasn't ruling out. If I did decide to go back in, I could dive right in to officer school and work towards becoming a pilot. But for right now, I wanted to go back to the city and live life as a civilian.

I was lucky; somehow Bella got her boyfriend to agree to let me stay in our old place. Apparently Bella had been dating this guy, Alec, for a while. He was a doctor at the hospital she worked at and he had been living for her for a few months now. He seemed intimidated to have me living there, but he never voiced it. In fact, we barely spoke.

Now I'm twenty-five, and bartending at a brand new club called Eclipse. It isn't luxurious or grand but it pays the bills. Plus, it was sort of fun.

Life living with Bella as a roommate was pretty simple.

She became a nurse in neonatology, just like she wanted to, at a hospital that was about a ten minute walk from where we lived. Most days she walked to work.

I didn't see much of Bella during the days she was at the hospital. True to a nurse, she ended up working three or four days straight, 12 and sometimes 18 hour shifts. But then she would have three straight days off and she normally came and joined me at the bar.

Alec was absent a lot because of work. He spent a lot of time being on-call and lots of nights in the hospital. He was rarely around when I was, and he never came to hang out at the bar. Anyone could tell that his job was his top priority, above all else, including Bella.

It almost felt like old times, just Bella and I. Just Bella and I, and some new additions.

Bella was still best friends with Rose, who got into modeling as her career. She had blonde hair, big boobs and long legs; I had always figured her for a model. Being in the industry, she got invited to a fancy charity event where she met her husband Emmett McCarty, a big burly dude who played linebacker for the New York Jets. It was great being able to be on the sidelines for games. I became very fond of Emmett; he was hysterical most times and acted like a kid stuck in an adult body.

The other couple who rounded out the group Bella and I always hung out with were our next door neighbors, Jasper and Alice. They couldn't have been more opposite. Alice was a short, energetic woman with black spiky hair. Her favorite thing besides her career in fashion was to talk. Jasper was a tall and soft-spoken man that still spoke with a southern drawl since he grew up in Texas. I was pretty intimated by him at first because he was a psychologist; I didn't want my life psychoanalyzed every time I told a story. He didn't try to be annoying about it, though. He gave advice when it was needed, and usually it was damn good advice too.

My life came down to work and fun with Bella and our friends. Which brings us to tonight.

Tonight, there's a big band playing at Eclipse and I got all my friends special passes to go see them perform. I heard they were pretty good; they played classic rock covers. I wasn't sure of the name, it was something meaningless. But with alcohol and Bella around, the music would barely be my main concern.

I was already dressed, wearing a broken in pair of jeans and a button down shirt, which I had rolled up to my elbows. I didn't bother mess atop my head that I called hair; it was unruly and never did what I wanted it to do. Bella once referred to it as "sex hair." It was annoying to me, but the ladies seemed to love it, and loved to touch it too.

When I finished getting dressed, which was about fifteen minutes, I just sat back on the couch and opened a beer. I was waiting on Bella, as usual. She was taking an eternity.

She never took this long in high school. She would wake up, throw on the first pair of pants she saw and a top, chuck on her Converse shoes and walk out the door. She was a sporty girl, never caring about appearances.

But now she took forever. She needed to do her hair, makeup and pick out an outfit. Most times it looked like her closet exploded by the time she was done. The finished product, though, was always worth the wait.

Tonight was no different.

She walked out and my eyes were just drawn to her. Her hair was shoulder length now and she had it in big, soft curls. She never wore a lot of makeup; she never needed to either. Just that shit that went on your eyelashes to make them super long and Chapstick; she always loved her Chapstick. Her lips always looked kissable. But it was her dress that made me stop in my tracks. This dress, though it was short enough to be considered a shirt, stopped above mid thigh. It hugged the curves of her body in all the right ways. It was shades of green, gold and brown with sequins for "accenting."_Damn, I need to stop hanging out with Alice…_

But as she turned around I noticed the whole back was missing. It swooped down in a U shape starting right above her ass, which looked round and voluptuous.

She was stunning.

I must have been staring too much because Bella was waving her hand in front of my face.

"Hello? Edward? Do I have something on me?" she asked, twirling around to give me another fantastic view of her ass.

I shook off the naughty thoughts brewing inside of my head as I got up to kiss her on the cheek. "No, you look gorgeous."

That adorable red blush crept up on her cheeks before she playfully slapped my chest.

There was a knock on the door, which turned out to be Alice and Jasper. Bella gathered a clutch and her jacket and we grabbed a taxi to take us to the club. Rose and Emmett were waiting outside when we got there.

It was a cold night in January and the line went around the block. People must have been freezing in blistery cold night, but I didn't need to be. We got to go straight to the front of the line and got right in. It felt good to be important, even if it was just at the stupid club I worked at.

The club was packed, stuffed with bodies wall to wall. There were couches and bars to lounge at and a huge dance floor in the middle. House music was blasting around and everyone appeared to be having a great time. The band was set to take the stage at midnight so for now it seemed like a normal Friday night.

We headed straight towards the bar where Emmett treated us to our first round; when I wasn't working I had to pay for my drinks just like anyone else. I grabbed a beer for me and one for Bella too since she didn't fuck around with girly drinks.

The six of us clicked our bottles together before we chugged our drinks down.

Mine was finished in a few gulps, so I ordered another one right away and found Bella doing the same.

"Long week?" I asked her. She tended to drink more when she was stressed.

"That's an understatement," she replied, taking a swing from her beer before she sauntered off onto the dance floor where the other girls already were.

The three girls were grabbing the attention of all the men around the dance floor. They all knew how to shake their hips and grind seductively up against each other, Bella especially. Hot girls who knew how to dance always drew a crowd. It wasn't long before Emmett and Jasper were walking towards the dance floor to grab their ladies. I followed along, but only so that Bella could keep dancing.

I got behind her and placed my hands on her hips. She started to grind her body against mine, swaying her hips to the music. She'd switch up the pace and shake her ass unbelievably good. After a while, she turned around and put her arms around my neck.

"I'm happy I'm not single and have to try and pick a guy out of this crowd. There aren't any decent guys here."

"I'm a decent guy."

She smacked my chest again playfully. "I know that. I'm just saying that there is no guy here that I could see myself fucking around with. I can't fuck around with you."

_Well you could…_

Sure, we had our complicated situations; times in the heat of the moment when the lines would blur. We've shared kisses and copped some feels but nothing further than that. There were times throughout high school, when frustrations and hormones were sky high that had I figured out a way to sneak into her house, things would have gotten messy. And it was never just me; she would have been just as willing.

My feelings for Bella were blurred most of the time; my mind went back and forth between liking her as my best friend and liking her as more.

Tonight, I could have taken her home and given her exactly what she needed. When we woke up in the morning, things wouldn't have been so simple.

She wanted to be with Alec. She said that she loved him. She's been with him for over year. Their relationship was settled. Things might get hard with the amount of work that they both have to put into their jobs, but Bella didn't want to give up on their relationship. Alec was the guy she wanted to be with.

Right?

"What's the difference? You're with Alec," I reminded her.

"I know. It's just sometimes I find my eyes wandering to see what else is out there. It's hard dating someone who is more married to the job than committed to our relationship. I guess I just miss him."

"Don't worry; I'm sure that Alec is missing you just as much you are missing him. Things will settle down and go back to normal," I told her.

"You really think so?"

I nodded and she pulled me in for a tight hug before she said she needed another drink and a bathroom break with the girls. I dragged my ass behind her.

"Dude, now you're calming her fears down over her relationship?" Emmett asked, once the girls excused themselves to the bathroom to "freshen up" Emmett always eavesdropped on our conversations.

"There's nothing between us. We're best friends and roommates. Nothing more."

Quite often our friends interjected and gave us their opinions on mine and Bella's relationship. They all claimed we were meant to be together and that someday it was bound to happen, despite Bella being in a committed relationship.

I didn't disagree as adamantly as Bella, but I knew now, or anytime in the near future, was not the time that a relationship was going to blossom between us.

What our friends didn't know was that something almost happened between us right before I left for basic training.

~Flashback

_Bella and I were lying in her bed watching General Hospital; she gave me a massage so that meant she got to watch her stupid shows._

_I was leaving in the morning for basic and Bella was bummed out._ _She kept clinging onto me for dear life and asking me not to go. Then begging me to promise I would never get put in danger._

"_Can I tell you something?" she asked, eyes wide with apprehension._

"_Anything," I told her._

"_I think… I think I like you. More than like you as my best friend."_

_I had not been expecting those words to come out._ "_B…"_

"_No," she interrupted me. "You don't have to say anything. I know that you probably don't feel the same. I don't want things to change between us. It's just how I feel."_

_I picked up her chin and forced her to look at me. I placed a kiss on her forehead and some of her tension seemed to relax away. "Nothing is going to change between us. You are an amazing person. You're gorgeous, smart, talented and so many more things. But now isn't the time for us to test out a relationship. I'm going to be across the country for six months and then stationed somewhere else over the course of the next four years. It isn't fair to you or to any chance we might have to try something now. Maybe another day, when the situation is different."_

_She nodded her head, obviously disappointed from the rejection I felt I had to give her._

_~End of Flashback_

We rarely spoke about that moment. Emotions were high for both of us with me leaving for such a definite amount of time.

At the time, that's all I thought it was, the fear of the unknown with me leaving. All of these confusing emotions come to the surface when someone is about to leave for a long period of time.

If I hadn't been about to leave for basic training the next morning and she made that admission, I probably would have said yes.

Then again my emotions were wired high and I didn't want to leave her. If I didn't know any better, I might have agreed. I might have attempted a relationship with her.

And for all I knew, she could have just been confusing her apprehension of my leaving for romantic feelings towards me.

The situation was all wrong in a multitude of ways.

Now, being back in our apartment, living everyday life with her, I couldn't help but feel a spark between us. I started to look at her differently and feel this undeniable pull towards her.

I had always found Bella beautiful; I wasn't blind or stupid but lately, I've found her more than just beautiful. My body ached for her; I wanted her body close to mine. I wanted her.

Jealousy surged through me as I pictured her or, even worse, saw her with another guy, especially Alec. I knew that he knew her body and all of the places that drove her crazy. He was the one worshipping her and feeling the warmth of her skin against his. I should be the one that she should be going out with, having fun with and fooling around with. It should be me waking up next to her in her bed. I knew what she liked too. I knew things about her that Alec could never know.

I kept my distance. Our friendship meant the most to me. I couldn't go and ruin our relationship by letting my hormones get in the way. She was my best friend, and I would be lost without her. Plus, I didn't want her to resent me for ruining her relationship.

"Earth to Edward…" Jasper said, snapping his fingers in front of my face, bringing me back into the present. I shook off the daydreaming and saw Jasper's amused look. "What the hell are you thinking about?"

"Why do you guys think Bella and I should be together?"

"You guys are practically together already. You two live together, you do everything together. I can tell by the looks you two give each other when you think no one is looking that you guys are beyond attracted to each other. Why not try it? You two never fight and understand each other better than anyone else," Emmett replied.

I had no argument. Everything he said was true. "We're best friends. We've been friends since freshman year of high school. That's like twelve years. We're comfortable together."

"Well, you wouldn't be asking about it if you weren't considering it. So maybe you should just stop fighting it?" Jasper added.

"She is with someone else. She's making her choice clear. It isn't me," I argued.

"She made that choice while you were away. Her feelings for Alec are fading and her frustrations with him just keep rising. It's a perfect storm brewing between them," Jasper said.

"Just drop it. I never should have brought it up."

Emmett and Jasper both shook their heads before turning their attention to the girls making their way back to the bar but Bella wasn't with them.

"Where's Bella?" I asked once Rose and Alice were within my range.

"Alec showed up. They're making nice over by the bathrooms," Rose said, wiggling her eyebrows.

_Isn't that just great._

Jealousy surged through me, even though it was irrational. She wasn't mine. She was kissing her boyfriend. That was normal. Who was I to her to be feeling jealous?

Were my friends right? Was I falling for my best friend?

No. I'm just going through an early mid life crisis, where I'm worrying I will never find the right girl. So, my mind brings me to the girl closest to me. I'm sure Jasper could even come up with some psychological term for it, like transference or some shit.

That and I haven't gotten laid in over a month. That definitely has to have something to do with it.

Eventually Bella came back with Alec next to her, laughing flirtatiously as he had his arm slung around her shoulders.

"Hey guys. Isn't it great that Alec was able to get away from the hospital early enough to join us?" Bella greeted.

He gave everyone a causal wave before Bella dragged him out onto the dance floor.

I swallowed my misplaced anger and chased it with some tequila to make it easier.

I quickly ordered another one and gulped that one down as well, earning me pointed stares from my friends. I ignored them as I did a sweep through the club for any promising girls.

A blonde with some killer legs caught my eye and started to lick her lips. I could see her sipping on a cocktail, so I knew she was getting drunk.

I didn't say a word to my friends, just walked over to the stool where she was sitting.

She smiled at me as soon as I was near and I flashed her the smile that constantly got me in girls' pants.

Up close, she wasn't as good looking. Her eyes were a dull brown, nothing like the deep, chocolate color of Bella's eyes. She had no curves on her; flat as a pole. Dumb as one too.

But her wandering eyes and hands told me she was down for fun. A mindless fuck sounded like a good time to me. She had told me her name, but my mind was in a fog, completely clouded by my mind racing a mile a minute that I forgot it the instant she told it to me.

We listened to the band for only about a half hour before she got bored and invited me back to her place. I eagerly accepted.

Anything to get my mind off the possibilities of me and Bella.

I left whatshername's house early, sometime around four am. I never liked sleeping over at a random fuck's house.

Bella was home, sound asleep with all the lights on in the house. Her door was wide open, so I could see that she was alone – thank the Lord. She normally kept all the lights on when I wasn't home. She claimed it was so I could see where I was going when I got back, but I know that it was because she was scared of being in the apartment by herself.

I had no idea how she coped for the four years I was away.

I'm sure Alice and Jasper had a couch-mate plenty of nights.

Oh wait. She wasn't always alone. She had Alec.

I walked to Bella's doorframe and went to close her door but paused when I noticed she was awake and looking at me.

"Have a good time tonight?" she asked me, sitting up to see me better.

"Yeah, I guess."

"She wasn't bad looking."

"Not bad. What can you expect from a club? Where's uh, Alec?" I asked her.

"He got called back to the hospital not long after you left. I'm just glad he showed up at all."

"Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah, it was nice to go out for a night and let my hair down," she said, collapsing back down onto her pillows.

"Good. Well, sleep tight, B," I said to her, turning to go to my bed.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" I replied, turning back around to look at her.

"Do you really think that things will settle down between me and Alec? Do you think that things will be okay?

I paused before I answered her. I knew what I had to tell her, but it wasn't easy settling her fears when they conflicted with how I felt. "I know it will, Bells. Just give it time. There's a reason you've stuck with him for so long," I assured her.

"Thanks. Night, Edward," she said, snuggling back onto her side, back facing me.

I stole one more quick glance at her before I closed her door. I contemplated asking her if she was truly happy, since I could see that she was questioning that within herself. However knowing the answer would only tug at my heart and my confusion even more, I decided it was better not to know and stumbled my way into my own bed.

I flopped myself down, face first.

Tomorrow was not looking appealing.

My one night stand did nothing to silence my thoughts of Bella, and those mixed with the hangover of the century I could already feel coming would surely drive me insane, if I wasn't there already.

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><p><em><strong>AN: So that is the re-worked first chapter! I switched the plot around a bit, so the chapters I already wrote need to be re-worked but I will try to update as soon as possible!<strong>_

_**The future chapters, hopefully, will be a bit longer but this first chapter was just to lay down the ground work and set up the basic relationships.**_

_**I hope that you enjoy it and are willing to stick around and see how the story develops!**_

_**Happy reading and please review!**_


	2. What Is and What Should Never Be

**Make it Fly**

**Chapter 2 - EPOV**

**What is and What Should Never Be**

**_**AN: I want to thank everyone that gave this story a chance! Hope you enjoy this chapter! A big thanks to JaniceeLynn and all the help she has given me! I also want to thank Project Team Beta, EvilPumpkin and LoriAnnTwiFan for their amazing work, whipping this chapter into shape. They did such a great job! Thanks!**_**

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><p>The next day was exactly as miserable as I thought it would be.<p>

My head was pounding, my stomach was churning, and on top of that Alec was home, cuddling on the couch with Bella. It shouldn't have bothered me; it should have made me happy to see my best friend so in love and content in her life. So, why did the image of them together make me so enraged?

If I was being honest with myself, the answer was easy. I was falling for her. But I refused to give in and let this become a complicated situation. I'd been through enough of them in the past.

I needed to get my mind off of all these stupid feelings.

At first I tried to work it off. I went down to the weight room in the basement of our apartment building. I hit the maximum weights my body could take, just pushing myself past my usual limits. None of this was helping my headache, but it was doing a good job of working off my frustrations.

After the weights I hit the treadmill and started running. When I was in my peak shape, I was able to run three miles without getting winded. Now I was lucky if I could run a mile at about 5 mph without getting tired. I needed to get myself back in shape- not because of Air Force requirements, but because I wanted to maintain a level of fitness for myself. I had to take classes about physical fitness and basic medical knowledge to be prepared for anything in the field. I knew all about the horrors of heart disease and high blood pressure. Being in top physical condition stopped me from being another statistic for the health professionals.

As soon as I stopped working out, my mind was racing right back to Bella. Wondering about all of our 'what if' moments where our _almost_ moments happened. _What if Bella and I would have gotten together before I left? What if Bella and Alec weren't together right now?_

No one would ever know.

I needed to get out of my bedroom and out of the building altogether. Seeing their display was haunting me and making my mind race even more. I needed to do something.

It had been a long time since I had seen a buddy of mine from the Air Force; I hadn't talked to him since I joined the reserves almost a year ago. I jumped into my old, run-down Mustang and traveled into Queens where the recruiting station was. My friend, Jacob, had decided to go into recruiting after he finished his four-year contract.

"Edward! Long time no see!" Jacob said as he made his way towards me to give me a one-armed hug.

"Good to see you, man. How have you been?" I tried to give him my best smile, though I knew that it was a weak one.

"I've been okay, and yourself?"

"Hanging in there. I just needed to clear my head, so I thought that I would pay you a visit."

"How's that girl of yours?" he asked. He was referring to Bella.

"Taken," I said, sighing deeply, a sign of my obvious displeasure with this fact.

"Now I know why you need to clear your head."

_After three years of bullshitting and taking class after class, I finally had something to show for my time in the Air Force._

_Today, I was getting my bachelor's degree._

_There was going to be a small ceremony where I received a diploma on stage, and then I got to see my parents, since we were allowed to invite family. I was so excited to see them; going this long without seeing or talking to them has been rough on me. I had always been a bit of a Mama's boy, though I'd never admit it out loud._

_When I got onstage to accept my diploma, I was hoping to catch a glimpse of my parents in the crowd. My eyes scanned as far as they could, but I was disappointed when I couldn't see them anywhere._

_Once the ceremony was over, everyone gathered at the entrance of the building waiting for their family member to come out._ _I tried to focus on congratulating my buddies coming up to me, but I was distracted by trying to find my family._

"_Hey! Airman Cullen!" a familiar voice yelled out to me._

_I didn't need to turn around to see who it was. That voice had played throughout my mind for the past three years, waiting for the moment when I finally got to hear it live and see her in person._

_She took my breath away when my eyes reached her. Her hair was shorter, right around her shoulders, and she wore it straight with her bangs hanging over one eye. She was actually in a dress, a rare occurrence for the girl had known all throughout high school and beyond... but damn, she wore it well. The dress hung low on her chest and gave me a nice view of her full chest and though it wasn't a form-fighting dress, I could see that she still had the most amazing curves. She even had on a pair of heels; I didn't know she was able walk in shoes that high._

_I could barely react when she leapt into my arms, throwing hers around my neck. Eventually my brain sped up, and I was able to spin around with her in my arms, holding onto her tightly. I didn't want to let her down, but she started to wiggle under my touch, signaling I could let her go._

"_What are you doing here?" I finally managed to ask her._

_Her giggle ran sweetly through my ears. "Like I could miss seeing you graduate! I'm so proud of you! Who would have thought that you would get your diploma before me?"_

_I chuckled at her._ _ "Well, that's because you are getting a fancy diploma, and your name is going to have letters after it. Bella Swan, RN. Where are my parents?"_

_She flashed me a smile and turned her head. I followed her gaze until I saw my parents. My mother started to lightly run towards me, enveloping me in a hug. I was homesick, inhaling the familiar scent of my mother that filled my childhood home. I gave my father a slight hug as well. They all kept beaming and telling me how proud they were of me, Bella included. I suspected that they were all worried for a while that I would never make anything of myself but just a permanent fixture on their couch, living off their money. It was a comfort to them knowing that I always had the Air Force to keep my ass in line, and give me a job and benefits._

_I was able to leave base to go to dinner with my parents and Bella._ _It was nice to be able to catch up and talk with them in person. My parents were doing well and were still as in love as ever. Their relationship was inspiring. They'd been together for almost 30 years and still acted like a newlywed couple. I wished that I could find a woman that I could share my life with and be as happy and as in love as my parents were after all these years._

_Bella seemed as well as she had ever been. Her smile was radiant, and she was beginning her in-hospital training. It wouldn't be long until she was receiving her degree and would be a registered nurse. I would have to find a way to take my leave for the year when she was graduating. Just like she couldn't miss walk up on stage to get my diploma, I wouldn't dare miss her day either._

_I couldn't tear my eyes away from her; she was absolutely stunning. I never realized how much I had really missed her until I saw her again. I couldn't imagine how I'd managed so long without having her by my side. For so many years prior to my leaving, I had seen her almost every day, and the days I didn't see her we were talking on the phone or texting. She was my best friend; I couldn't imagine what life would be like if I had never met her._

_Dinner was great; it was amazing being able to loosen up and joke around with them like old times. I was relieved to see that my parents were content which the choices I made in my life. I had been nervous that they wouldn't understand my desire to potentially risk my life at some point. It was nice knowing that they would support any decision I made and find a way to be happy for me._

_Though I was disappointed that my time with them was short, I was almost eager to let them go so that I could hang out with Bella. My parents had an early flight the next morning and wanted to go to their hotel to sleep and prepare. Bella's flight wasn't until later in the day, so I took her back to the base. I knew that there had to be at least one celebratory party going on in the barracks._

_Sure enough, in my building, music was blasting and Airmen and their visiting friends were dancing and drinking. Within minutes of walking in, drinks were thrown in our hands. We both tossed them back, and Bella dragged me straight onto the dance floor._

_There was something different about her. She was a bit more girly, definitely more relaxed and confident and, dare I say it, sexier. With her body so close to mine, our hips swaying in sync to the music, I had never wanted to be with her as badly as I did in that moment._

_I was about to bring my lips down to her neck, where I knew she liked it, when a hand from behind jerked me back._

"_Cullen!"_

"_Hey, Black. What's going on?" I said, probably a bit sharper than I meant to. Jacob Black was one of my close buddies. We endured Basic Training together and were interested in the same training areas. He was assigned to the same barracks I was, so we spent a lot of time together. He may be the closest friend I had here, but now was not the time I wanted to be talking to him._

"_Enjoying my party?"_

"_I should have known this was your doing. But yeah, I am."_

"_All this time and you never mentioned a hot girlfriend. I'm hurt, man," he said, jokingly putting a hand over his heart like it was in pain._

_He thought Bella was my girlfriend. _I wish…_ "Nah, this is Bella. You remember that girl I told you about." I had often spoken about her; she was a part of most of my best memories, after all._

"_Yeah, I remember. I just never remember looking that way with any of my _friends_."_

_Bella and I looked at each other. Her face seemed relaxed, almost amused. Some people might find this situation awkward, being addressed like we were a couple. Bella and I have always been so comfortable around each other; we had often been mistaken for a couple. My arms were wrapped around her waist, and there was barely enough space for air between our bodies. Before we had been interrupted, my head was near the crook of her neck, as though I was about to kiss her… which I was._

_From an outside perspective, we looked like a couple._

"_Guess you never had good friends," Bella teased._

"_I wish I had a friend like you. Lord knows I could use a good time," Jacob replied._

_Jacob turned around and left after that, leaving Bella and I to register the comments that he has made. Eventually, Bella turned around and leaned her head against my chest and we swayed to the slow song that was beginning to play._

_Before we knew it, it was 2 in the morning, and I could see exhaustion written across Bella's face. Since I had been drinking, I couldn't drive her home. There was no way I would let her take a cab by herself. So, I took the ride with her._

_The cab ride was quiet. Our time together was coming to a close, and her departure was thick in the air. No words would be able to make saying goodbye any easier for either of us. I had just gotten her back and now I had to let her go again._

_We stood in the lobby of the hotel with our arms wrapped around one another. Bella gripped me tight as her tears dripped onto my shirt._

"_I miss you, Edward."_

"_Ditto, Baby."_

Baby?

_She looked up at me, her eyes wide with sadness and her cheeks stained with running mascara. Though she might have looked like a mess to some, all I could think was how beautiful she was and how much I wanted her in that moment._

_I didn't think; I just acted._

_I slowly brought my lips down to hers. She was hesitant at first, probably in shock about what I was doing. But then she started to move her lips in sync with mine. I swept my tongue across her bottom lip, and she eagerly opened her mouth to me. Our tongues dashed between our mouths as we stood, making out in the lobby of her hotel._

_We pulled apart for air; reluctance on my part was high. Our foreheads were pressed together as I looked down at her swollen, kissed lips and I smiled knowing it was me that had done that._

_She smiled too and brought her lips to mine for a quick peck. By the time her lips had left mine and I reopened my eyes, she was already walking down the hall towards the stairs. I heard a sniffle as her heels connected with the hard tiled floor._

_I ran my hand through my hair and trudged back to the cab. My mind was racing as I got back into the cab. I was confused by the events that just transpired. I was between regret and sheer bliss; it was a bittersweet goodbye for Bella and me._

_My bliss was easy to explain; she was the most astounding person I knew. Why wouldn't I want to kiss her?_

_My regret was harder to understand. First, had I scared Bella off? Had I made her upset by doing that? Her feelings were the first thing I thought of, and I didn't want to do anything to upset her. I didn't know why she had just ran off after pulling away, and I sure as hell didn't know what that meant. I was dying to understand exactly how she was feeling._

_But further than that, how the hell was I supposed to enjoy a kiss with anyone else after experiencing the most perfect kiss with Bella?_

Needless to say, when I returned to the barracks that night, Jacob had plenty of questions; with my emotions hanging on my sleeve, that only brought more questions and fewer answers.

As I talked more and more with Jake, I realized that I had been pushing away a lot of feelings towards Bella. These were feelings I thought were inappropriate. By the end of a very long night, I knew that I had some serious feelings for my best friend. I vowed that I would work it out with her when I got back. I would try my hardest to have a relationship with her and make it work.

Keeping in contact with loved ones at home was difficult. With the latest technology, it was becoming easier: texting, video chatting and things like that. But my free time was limited, and during that time I wasn't exactly free. I had my own training and studying to do, not to mention that privacy was difficult to come by.

I had spoken to Bella a few times in my last year away, though we never brought up what happened that night. It seemed to hang between us but neither of us wanted to acknowledge it. We went on talking about generic things like the weather and different patients she encountered.

I was never able to arrange leave for Bella's graduation; she wasn't family. And it wasn't an emergency. I know it was a big disappointment to Bella, as it was me. I would have given anything to be there on that day. It was something I deeply regretted missing.

Once there were only two months to go in Texas, I started a countdown. On my calendar every day was marked with the remaining number of days, and I had a picture of Bella taped right next to my calendar. I was still confident in my decision to develop something more between the two of us.

Wasn't I surprised when I got back and someone had already taken my place.

"I can't figure out if I hate this guy because he's dating my girl or if there's a bigger reason."

"Maybe it's a bit of both. Have you even told her how you feel? Have you two even talked about that night?" Jake asked me.

"That would be no to both. We just kind of ignored it happened, went on like nothing had changed. And I didn't want to go digging up the past when she is clearly settled and happy, I think."

"You think? You know her better than anyone else from what you have told me. Is she happy or not?"

"I don't know. When she's with him, she looks happy. But he is an 'important' doctor at their hospital, "I said, putting up finger quotes "He puts in like 80 hour weeks being on call constantly. It puts a toll on their relationship. Plus, she came with me to the club last night, and she was like checking out what other guys were there. I don't know what to think, man."

"It seems to me like she's confused at the very least. You need to talk to her. Take your chance; otherwise, you'll never know what you could have had."

I nodded my head at him, taking his advice to heart.

We continued to chat for a while longer, mostly about the Air Force and different things that were going on for him. He informed me that he was going into officer school soon. This way, he could make a little bit more money and go into something other than recruiting, like flying. We were both interested in the same things that the Air Force had to offer.

He told me to consider it; if things with Bella weren't going like I wanted I could always chase a new dream, like becoming a pilot. He gave me all the information and told me to at least think about it.

Officer training was in Alabama, and it lasted twelve weeks. Twelve weeks of grueling physical and mental training that I would need to apply for pilot school. Then pilot school was another ten month program. It would be a lot of time away from my friends and family, again. But what real ties did I have to the life I was living in the city?

My parents had each other, plus they lived out on the Island. I didn't see them that often as it was. They would want me to do what I wanted and would be proud to see me doing something with the Air Force and for my country.

My friends all had their respective partners. Rose had Emmett, and Alice had Jasper. Hell, Bella had Alec. I would always be the seventh wheel in my group of friends.

The bar paid the bills, but it wasn't my life's calling. It was just a means to get by. I had nothing holding me to it.

In fact, I had nothing holding me to anything in the city.

Maybe officer school was the way to go…

After my trip to see Jake, I went back into the city and to the apartment.

I was hoping that at the very least Alec wouldn't be there, but I couldn't catch a break.

"Hey," I said, to be polite, when I walked in.

As I was taking my shoes off, I heard Alec coming closer to me.

"Thank God you're home. Bella is in our room crying, and I don't know what to do. I keep trying to talk to her but she won't let me in."

I rolled my eyes once I was out of his view. Guy had been dating her for over a year and didn't know how to console her when she cried, or even figure out what's wrong.

I knocked on the door, and through her sniffles she asked who it was, and I let her know it was me. I immediately heard her feet hit the floor, and the door opened to reveal my girl with a very red, puffy face. She had been crying for a while.

She ushered me in and closed the door in Alec's face before he could even get a word in.

"What's wrong, B? You know Alec is out there…" I started to say.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't stop crying. I don't want to see Alec, or have him see me like this. I just don't know." she sobbed.

Bella had been diagnosed as depressed at the beginning of college. She had been on anti-depressants ever since. She didn't need to see a therapist; her regular doctor kept tabs on her mental health and kept her medication refilled. Most days you couldn't even tell. The medication kept her functioning and her negative thoughts away. Other days, like today, she just lost it. Sometimes it had a trigger, other times not.

"Have you been taking your medicine?"

"Yeah. Every day. I think after five years, I would remember."

"I'm just checking. Does Alec even know?"

She shook her head.

"Why haven't you told him? Plus, isn't he a doctor? Shouldn't he be able to tell these things?"

"He's a surgeon, and yes, he could diagnose it if it was obvious. I keep my medication in my drawer, and besides, I'm fine most days. I haven't had a stretch of bad days since we have been together. If I have a bad day, he just assumes it's hormonal. As far as not telling him, can you really blame me? Like a guy really wants a girl with so much baggage! When was I supposed to fit that in? I'm 25, I'm a nurse, and oh yeah, I take anti-depressants so that I can function like a normal person!"

"Bella… we've been through this for years. It's not something you can control. You wouldn't be so hesitant to share with him if it was diabetes. This is the same thing."

"You sound like my freaking doctor."

"That's because I know you better, and I've also been doing this with you for just as long. Now back to today. What happened?"

"I don't know. Last night, I was perfectly fine. Then, this morning I didn't want to get out of bed, and I didn't want to eat. And then the tears started."

"What's going on in that mind of yours? Are you cycling?" Bella often cycled around in her head; she would let one negative thought spiral into several. Constant worries and bad memories played on loop inside her mind, creating anxiety and her upset mood.

"No, Doctor. I just didn't sleep well last night."

"Okay, well that's probably it right there. You know sleep is important. Why couldn't you sleep well?"

"No one was home. Alec got called back to the hospital, and then you were at that girl's house. I guess I didn't like being alone."

"I'm sorry, B. If I would have known that Alec was going back to the hospital, I wouldn't have left you alone."

"You left me alone for 4 years, what's one more night?"

Ouch. "Bella…"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. That was out of line. Here you are trying to help, and I go and open my big mouth."

"Was it hard?" I asked her. We never talked about it, the time I was gone. It was wrong, but I never thought about how much my leaving affected her mental state. I guess I never figured that she needed me that much with Rose around.

She nodded her head.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Because you were out doing the right thing. You were out trying to make yourself a better person while doing something for your country. I was one person, with other people here around me. You left everything you knew behind. I didn't have the right to burden you. I thought I was being selfish, wanting you around so much."

"You're not a burden to me. Not then, not now, and not ever. I would have wanted you to tell me. I didn't want to leave you, especially if you were feeling low. Those were never my intentions."

"I know that. That's why I never said anything. But I've always needed you. You've always been my rock, more than Rose, more than anyone," she said, shrugging her shoulders before exhaling a deep breath.

"I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere," I told her while pulling her into my arms. She wrapped her thin arms around my waist and squeezed the hell out of me. I ran my fingers through her hair and then kissed the top of her head. "Now, go shower and get dressed. You'll feel better."

She mustered up a small smile, and I left her to gather her things for her shower.

We walked out together, and Alec went straight to Bella. She waved him off, gave him a slight smile and went to the bathroom.

"What happened?" Alec asked once she started the shower up.

"PMS," I lied. It was an easy answer that left no questions. Guys never questioned that shit.

"Shit. I thought I did something wrong. She's never been like this before. I mean sure, she's cried before, but there's always been a reason. Guess I still have some things to learn about her."

I just shrugged my shoulders and went into my room. Carrying on a conversation with Alec was just about the last thing I wanted to do at this point.

My mind was racing again from my conversation with Bella. I felt horrible for not realizing the effect my absence had on her. I should have known that it would have been hard on her. Though my free time was severely limited, I couldn't help but feel like I should have made more time to contact her and check up on how she was feeling.

I got my basketball from the corner of my room and starting to toss it up in the air, practicing my release point for taking a shot. I had always loved playing; I played a bit in the beginning of my career in the Air Force. But I hadn't played in a long time. It was just a hobby, and it gave my mind something else to focus on.

My phone started buzzing on the bed, and I couldn't think who would be texting me.

**Hey man, just wondering how that blonde was. What are you doing tonight? I got Ranger tickets. You, me, Jasper and B? She's already in. Let me know ASAP- Em.**

_Hey, uh yeah. Sounds great. We'll meet you at the garden around 6?_

**Sounds good to me. See you there- Em**

That left me with two hours until we had to be there. I set my alarm for 5:15pm, closed my eyes and let sleep take over.

By 5, someone was jumping on my bed, yelling my name. I opened my eyes one at a time, delighted by what I saw. Maybe I was still dreaming.

Bella had one leg on either side of me and was jumping up and down, accentuating her lovely bouncing parts. She was in a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized Rangers jersey, #17 Dubinsky. She had her little temporary tattoo Rangers symbol on her cheek, and her hair was up in a pony being held together with a Ranger scrunchie. This was typical game night attire for her.

I couldn't help but laugh at her excitement. Two hours ago, she couldn't stop the tears. Now, a shower and a promise of a Rangers game later, she was like an entirely different person. That was Bella though, one low to one high.

"Come on, come on, come on! Get dressed! We have to be there in forty-five minutes!" she exclaimed as she jumped up high and then bounced onto the bed, practically on top of me.

"Okay, okay. Lemme grab a jersey."

She was already hopping up and in my closet before I had the chance to rub the sleep out of my eyes. A sea of blue, red and white flooded my face as she threw my jersey at me. I tugged the Callahan jersey on over my head and slipped on the shoes that had been thrown at my feet as well.

"Ready?" she asked.

"B, it takes like ten minutes to get there," I reminded her.

We lived on 23rd Street by Park Avenue. The Garden was on 34th street and 7th avenue. So it was 5 avenues over and eleven blocks up. It was a quicker walk than it seemed. Not even worth the $2.25 subway fare it would take to ride the train one stop or take the bus a few stops.

"I want to get there early. I want to pretend like we're newbies, ya know? Grab the program, buy some new gear, maybe even get a foam finger and then scream at all the guys when they come out for their practice skate!"

"That sounds pathetic. But what you want, you get. So, let's go. I guess I could use a new shirt. Let's go get Jasper."

"Yay!" Bella shouted as she ran out the door, and I could hear her in the hallway banging on Jasper's door. The units we lived in had thin walls; sometimes we could carry on a conversation without leaving our own apartment.

I wondered idly where Alec was, but I didn't allow my thoughts to linger there for long because I truly didn't care. I was laughing out loud at Bella's excitement as I locked the door behind me.

We got to the Garden a half hour before Emmett was going to show up with the tickets, so Bella couldn't start her 'first time experience' yet. She called him every two minutes until he agreed to take a cab to get there earlier. It didn't matter all that much though. You weren't allowed into the actual arena until an hour before the game was scheduled to start.

By six on the dot when they opened the gates, Bella, Em, Jasper and I were the first ones through. Em got us the tickets so they were probably the best seats I would probably ever sit in. When I bought tickets, I normally sat all the way up and was just happy to be at the game and enjoy the excitement. Plus, for the most part, the more passionate fans were up there. Tonight, we were sitting the row right behind where the Rangers sat, on the edge of where they came out. This meant we had a chance to get a puck, glove or stick, not to mention, get to shake their hands. Even though we would be sitting with boring corporation white-collar workers in suits, I couldn't help but be excited to be so close to the action.

Of course, it was a rivalry game; the Rangers were playing their nemeses the Devils. They needed to win in order to be on top of the Eastern Conference, even though there was still a long way to go until playoffs. The atmosphere was insane, and people were on the edge of their seats all night. The Rangers were down by a goal with five on the clock, and then they tied it up.

With thirty seconds left in the game, the Rangers were charging down the ice to the opposition zone. The Rangers kept shooting the puck towards the net, and nothing was going in. But then off a rebound, you heard the sirens go off, signaling a goal, and the whole place erupted. 40,000 fans began singing the goal song and screaming their heads off as the clock went down to zero. The Rangers had won.

At the end of every home win, the three stars of the game were announced, and they threw a game-used glove, stick or puck into the stands. We were lucky enough to grab a glove and stick from the number one star that scored the winning goal, Ryan Callahan. Then another blue shirt tradition, we got to see the Rangers put their sticks in the air, saluting the fans in the crowd.

As we were walking out of the Garden, the buzz was still all around us.

"Gooooallll, Goooaaalllll, Gooooaalllll. Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!" we all sang as we walked down 34th street with a few hundred other Ranger fans leaving the same way we were.

Once we were a few blocks away from the mayhem, we stopped to go our separate ways. Emmett lived uptown and was sharing a cab with Jasper, who was going to help Alice close up her shop for the night.

That left Bella and I to walk home in the January chill.

"So, Alec wasn't there when we left…" I mentioned to her as we walked along Madison Avenue.

"Yeah, he, uh, went back to the hospital," she said hesitantly.

"Something happen while I was asleep?"

"Kind of," she said. I waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't. So, I stopped walking and just stared at her until she continued with what happened. "He asked me to marry him, and I said I wasn't ready."

"Whoa. You can't just spring that on me and pretend like it's nothing. What did he say?"

"He wanted to know when I would be ready, and I said I didn't know. I just know that I'm not ready now. He is not at the place in his life where he can commit to a marriage. I don't want to be waiting at home every night, dinner getting cold because he's stuck at work. I'm tired of having to go to functions alone. It's frustrating. I couldn't say yes to him with all these thoughts bouncing around in my head," she explained.

"So if you feel this way, why are you with him?"

"Because I love him, Edward."

"But you're clearly not happy," I pushed.

"I never said I wasn't happy. I said I was frustrated with the way things were going. It's just because he's a fifth year; he's fighting to get the best surgeries and make the best cases. Next year is when he gets offers for fellowships to possibly become an attending at a better hospital. He needs to make the best impression. I can't fault him for being determined to make a good life-start-career for himself. Things are tough now, but it won't always be like that."

"But what if they are? What if this is who he is? Maybe his work is his marriage, and you're like the mistress. How do you know that even when he gets his offers that things are going to settle down and he will make time for you?"

"I just do. I have faith, Edward. I have faith that he loves me and will make certain sacrifices later on to make things with us work. He's not the only one working long hours. I know how hectic life in the medical profession can be, so I can understand and appreciate the time and effort he needs to put in to become the best at what he does."

"But you don't know for sure. You have your doubts, I can tell, rightfully so. Maybe he isn't the one for you."

By this time, we were at our door. She stared at me, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. But she didn't say a word. She just slid the key into the door and walked inside, straight to her room. I contemplated walking after her and forcing her to hash this out with me. Fighting with her about it wouldn't make the situation change. That would just make her more stubborn and make rash decisions.

I might have closed my door a little harder than necessary, but my head was a wreck. I never saw this coming; I knew that they were close and had a good relationship, but marriage was a big step. It was an especially big step to take when, like Bella said, he was preparing for a huge crossroads in his career.

Where did this come from anyway? What reasons did he have for wanting to get married now?

It all seemed to hit me like a train.

One day she was my best friend, my roommate with so many possibilities. The future was still open. Next, she was almost someone's fiancée.

Maybe she and I would never get together. Maybe any hope of a relationship between us was doomed due to our friendship beforehand. I couldn't tell what the future would hold as far as Bella and I went. But what I did know was that Alec and Bella were not meant to be. Furthermore, he could never make her truly happy. She was settling for someone that she was hoping would become the person she wanted him to be, when he would never.

Regardless of what I thought, she wasn't going to listen to me. She was stubborn in that sense. She needed to be burned by the fire before she believed it was hot. So, I had to step back and let her make her own mistakes.

Due to that, my time in this apartment was dwindling down to none. She wanted to be more serious, and he wanted marriage. There was no way in hell that I was going to be welcomed much longer. Bella had said in the beginning that she got Alec to agree because it was going to be temporary. That was almost a year ago.

I was going to have to find someplace else to go.

Maybe that place was a bunk in the barracks in Alabama, training to become an officer.

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><p><em><strong>AN: I hope that you enjoyed this chapter and that you will continue to keep track of the story!<strong>_

_**I really appreciate every reader and I cant wait to see any reviews or comments you might have!**_

_**Happy Reading and please comment!**_

_**BTW! I'm having this story Beta'd now. The next chapter is being looked at now, so soon there will be new chapters being posted!**_


	3. Damned if I Do Ya Damned if I Don't

Make it Fly

Chapter 3- Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)

_**AN: I know it has been a long time since I posted a new chapter! I did replace the two prior chapters, had them Beta'd again by the great girls at Project Team Beta. **_

_**But now, I'm all caught up and should be able to update regularly.**_

_**This chapter was Beta'd by darcysmom and DeanWinchester-myheart! They were awesome and I really appreciate all their work!**_

_**Happy Reading!**_

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><p>I couldn't sleep, not that I thought I could. My disagreement with Bella kept replaying over and over in my mind, on a constant loop.<p>

I was still in shock that he had actually proposed. With everything going on his life, his career- which he has clearly put above all else- what was he thinking? Bella herself even admitted what a crucial time it was in his career. How does he think he has time to prepare for and make a marriage work? It seemed absurd to me, but then again, I was a bit biased. It seemed like this appeared out of the blue…

After two hours of tossing and turning, with sleep clearly not finding its way towards me, I gave up and headed to the kitchen. I crept in, careful to be quiet, and flipped the switch to the light. As the light was flickering on, I saw something or someone jump in my sleepy daze.

It was Bella, fixing a cup of tea for herself. Guess she couldn't sleep either.

"Sorry if I startled you," I told her.

"It's 'kay. Can't sleep either?"

"Nope. Enough water in there for two cups?" I asked her.

She nodded, grabbed another mug, and filled each up with steaming hot water before placing a tea bag in each. I smiled at her briefly to convey my thanks before sitting at our island counter. Bella leaned against the counter on the side opposite of me.

"Look, B…"

"Edward…" We both said in unison.

"Go ahead, B," I told her.

"I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did. I'm sure you were just trying to help. I know you always have my best intentions at heart."

"I do, but I was out of line, too. I shouldn't be interfering in your relationship; it isn't my place. You're a big girl and you know what you're doing. So, I trust you. I'm happy as long as you're happy. Are you? Happy, I mean."

Her answer wasn't instant, like I thought it should have been if she was truly happy. "Yes, I am. He does make me happy. I want to spend my life with him."

Her reply sounded rehearsed, almost like she was trying to convince herself, along with me.

"Then, why didn't you tell him yes when he proposed?"

"It was so sudden," she said, hopping up onto the seat next to me. "I was in shock; I needed to take a moment to sort out my feelings. It is a big step, one I don't think I could decide to take in a moment. Now, I've had my think to think and I know I want to be with him."

I just nodded. Words wouldn't mean anything at this point; her mind was made up. I had missed my opportunity.

"I'd like to have you support me and tell me you think this is a good idea."

"You don't need my permission, B."

"No but, I'd like your blessing nonetheless," she said, as her eyes pleaded with me.

"Bella, if this is what you want, then I'm behind you a hundred percent. I just want you to be sure," I explained.

"I am sure," she tried to assure me.

I reached over and took her hand in mine. I gave it a light squeeze. She responded by throwing herself into my arms and I readily accepted her embrace. Her fruity and coconut scent intoxicated me and I never wanted to let her go. I whispered my congratulations in her ear and kissed her cheek as she pulled back. It warmed my heart to see her smile so brightly as she sat back up in her seat; even if it was caused by another man.

"I'm really glad we talked, Edward. I think I'm going to try and get some sleep. I do have work tomorrow," she told me. She slid off the high bar stool, placed a kiss atop my head, and went back into her room.

I kept my fake smile plastered upon my face until her door was closed and I heard her fall into bed. The last thing I wanted, as self-destructive as it was perhaps, was to push Bella away. So, I had to be there for her give her advice, and tell her what she wanted hear. I might not be able to have her in the way that I wanted, but I couldn't bear not having her in my life at all. I had to take her presence in my life any way I could get it. My role in her life would be what she needed, and I'd fulfill it to the best of my ability.

I would get over my little crush; that's all this was- a tiny, insignificant crush. I would be able to move on, move past this and go back to just being her best friend. My time away would let me do that. After twelve weeks, I'd be back to normal again and be able to see Bella without wanting to take her to my bed. If not, I had another ten months away at pilot school. I wouldn't fuck up my friendship with Bella and jeopardize my place in her life.

By the time my head hit the pillow that night, or early morning as it turned out to be, my mind was made up. In seven days, for better or worse, I would be in Alabama for officer training. Only time would tell if this was a good or bad decision.

The next morning when I woke up it was like nothing had happened. Bella was preparing breakfast for herself and Alec. Alec was seated at the island counter, reading the paper and sipping on orange juice.

Alec gave me a nod and Bella smiled sweetly and waved as I walked into the kitchen area.

I grabbed a mug of coffee and hoisted myself up onto the stool alongside Alec.

"Want some eggs?" Bella asked me.

"Please."

"Hey, Edward. I know you're working later on tonight, so I was wondering if some time during the day, you could pick up a prescription for me…" Bella inquired.

"Sure…"

"Babe, I need to pick up some stuff at the pharmacy today. I'll get it for you. What do you need?" Alec asked, interrupting me.

"You have to work too, Alec. Edward is free, and I'm sure he doesn't mind going," Bella said.

"I really don't mind…" I added, but I was once again interrupted by Alec.

"Bella, stop being so stubborn. I am going to the pharmacy already; it would be silly for Edward to go too. Now, what prescription do you need me to pick up for you?"

"Effexor," she stated, while quickly gathering her keys and slipping on her shoes, ignoring the confused looks Alec was flashing her way.

The eggs were beginning to burn, and the tension was high as I became caught in the middle between a brewing fight. I hurried my way over to stove and made myself busy, focusing on the eggs.

"Isn't that an anti-depressant?" Alec asked, even though everyone in the room already knew the answer.

"Yes," Bella answered, and said nothing more as she stormed out the apartment, slamming the door shut.

The eggs were hopeless at this point, burned beyond the repair of ketchup. So, I threw them out and went to grab cereal as Alec stood in shock. I tried to disappear into my room and avoid a line of questioning, but I had no such luck.

"Why didn't she ever tell me?" he finally asked, mostly to himself though. I stayed quiet and kept my face blank as he looked toward me for some sort of answer. I stood halfway between the kitchen and my room, spooning mouthfuls of cereal into my mouth as Alec paced and mumbled to himself. "You knew. That's why she wanted you to go get it. She wasn't going to tell me. Was she ever going to tell me? What else is she hiding?" he wondered out loud, slamming his fist down onto the counter.

"Hey! Chill. She has her reasons. Remember that this is hard on her, much harder on her than you. Don't make it harder for her," I reminded him.

"How can I remember? She never told me!" he yelled, and grabbed his stuff, ran out and slammed the door shut in the same manner Bella did.

I shook my head and finally got to enjoy my cereal. The shit has just hit the fan.

Now that my mind was made up, I spent the afternoon making the proper phone calls to set up my re-enlistment. That was necessary in order to attend officer school. I decided to re-enlist for 2 years. Most of the day was spent faxing papers back and forth, signing on the dotted line, and photo copying paper work. All the while, simultaneously booking a flight and preparing to send my uniform out for pressing.

Packing was a simple task; the same fatigues were worn everyday along with regulation boots. Besides that, I didn't need much more.

As I packed, it became more real that I was leaving. Although I reasoned with myself that the ties I had here were not strong, it was still all I really knew. The apartment I lived in, the friends I had, my parents, Bella…

I still thought it was for the best that I leave. That didn't make it easier. It crushed me to think of how I was going to tell her. She'd be devastated; we were best friends after all. She would shed tears and beg me not to go. This would tug at the strings of my heart, praying that her pleas meant more. But they wouldn't. If I stayed, she'd still be with Alec and I would be forced to witness her happily ever after.

Time flew by; I was due at the bar at six and it was approaching five thirty by the time I glanced at the clock. I threw on the mandatory tee and a pair of black jeans, and walked the few blocks to work.

It was a slow night. I was able to notice every face that walked through the door. Shock filled me as I saw her walk in. She still managed to take my breath away. I could tell she had been crying since her eyes were still red and a bit puffy. But she still managed to smile as her eyes caught mine.

My mind wandered back to a time when her eyes looked the same as she walked towards me in a place like this, but they told a different story than the one she would tell tonight.

~ Flashback

_It was a cold night in December. I was spending the weekend on Long Island visiting my parents and a few friends from high school. I hadn't seen them since we graduated almost seven many months prior._

_We- myself, Ben and Tyler- were at an old favorite hangout, the local pool hall. They brought along a friend of theirs from their university, Paul, and we were all shooting a few rounds of pool._

_The door had flung open and I saw Bella saunter in. She looked as beautiful as ever even though she just wore an old band tee, jeans and her beat up chucks. Her eyes were bloodshot, like she has been through a tough night. But a smile broke out on her face when she spotted me, and she broke out in a sprint towards me._

"_Edward! There you are!" she said, wrapping her arms around my neck. I could help the chuckle that escaped my lips as I hugged her back._

"_How did you know I was here?"_

"_I went to your parents' house and Esme told me I could find you here," she said, letting me go and waving to the others._

"_Oh, well why were you looking for me?"_

"_Because you don't know how to answer your phone," she said, causing me to pat myself down, until I felt my phone in my back pocket. I flipped it open and sure enough, there were four missed calls from her. I shrugged my shoulders, causing her to giggle before she continued. "Anyways, I had, well have, big news! I broke up with Mike!"_

_Mike was some loser she met in the city, at a dive bar we visited after tough tests. He was all sorts of wrong for her. He was a bit creepy, and he wasn't letting Bella be Bella. She was settling for Mike because she didn't want to be alone and she didn't think she could do any better. I kept telling her that she could find someone who was actually right for her, but she wasn't listening. Apparently, now she did listen after all._

"_Way to go, buddy. How did he take it?"_

"_Kept saying that he could change, and he could make me happy, blah, blah, blah. But I was strong and I just walked away," she declared, clearly proud of herself._

"_Good girl. Want a celebratory drink?" I offered. We were good, long time customers here, so they were lax about checking IDs here._

_She nodded and I went to grab us each a beer. I handed one to her, which she thanked me for. "To being single," I told her and clicked my beer against hers and we both took a healthy chug of our beer._

_Bella joined in on our game of pool; as it turned out, Paul had a date. So, I took Bella as my partner and we played against Ben and Tyler. It seemed that Paul was a much better player than Bella, though. Even before a few beers, Bella's aim was not good; she made a few lucky shots but her skill was not high. Lucky for us, I had enough skill at pool for both of us._

_The shots got messier, and words got more slurred as the empty beer bottles lined the edge of the pool table. She wasn't completely gone but her verbal filter was. She was a shitload of fun._

"_Oh, Edward! You know I used to think you were perfect. I used to think of you as like a knight in shining armor. I wanted you to rescue me. I would say to myself, 'Self, I need to find myself an Edward. When will I meet my Edward?' And look, here is an Edward!" she exclaimed pointing at me before she slung her arm around my shoulders._

"_Here I am, Bells. Where I have always been."_

"_I'm thinking. You've dated like all my friends…"_

"_Two. I've dated two of your friends," I reminded her, taking the beer she had been nursing from her, she clearly had enough._

"_2, all, what's the difference? Any who, we should hook up too. Be like those couples in the movies, friends with benefits. Were friends but we would benefit from each other. Ya know, sexually? From what I've heard, you have the right sized equipment to keep me happy for a long time, if you know what I mean," Bella babbled, laughing at her own comments. She tried winking at me, but it came out as if she had just blinked._

"_Bells, that's just going to make things really…"_

_Her mouth captured mine and she started to massage her tongue against mine. Instinctively, my hands went to cup her face, bringing her in closer to me. The buzz I felt from the few beers I downed was throwing my rationality out the window. All I could focus on was the hot girl giving me an amazing make out session. She took my bottom lip in her mouth and sucked gently, and as she released it, she swept her tongue across it._

"_Hard," I said completing the comment I tried to make before she kissed me._

_With all rationale gone, I brought my lips back to hers, passionately kissing her with all I had. My friends were caught between whistling and coughing._

_Next thing, I realize we're in the back seat of my Mustang, full-fledged making out. Our clothes were askew and the windows were completely fogged up. My lips traveled past hers, exploring her neck. Her neck was extremely sensitive, I learned, behind the ears too. I grazed my lips over it, nibbled a bit too, enjoying the moans that her body was eliciting. I could just breathe on her neck and she would writhe under me._

_Our hands were frantic; from being tangled in each other's hair, to our hips, and mine even traveled up to her full chest, palming her breasts._

_I pulled back briefly to get some air, and I saw pure lust written across her face. Lust mixed with alcohol would equal regret in the morning. Her look sobered me up and I couldn't continue._

"_Bella..."_

"_Edward," she moaned._

"_Look, I can't do this," I started to say, but immediately her look changed to one of disappointment. I had to lie to her. "Rose texted me earlier, and I told her that I would pick her up and bring her home"_

"_Oh," she said seeming to be disappointed. She slumped backwards against the seat and a tiny frown broke out on her swollen lips. _

"_Yeah, so let me get you back to my parents, since that's where you're staying tonight. And I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"_

"'_Kay," was all she said. I could tell she was still disappointed but not as much so since she didn't think I was completely rejecting her._

_I dropped her off and went to Rose's house anyways. I had time to kill, plus I could talk over this mess with her._

"_You're an idiot," Rose told me once I had explained what transpired tonight. "First, for kissing her back at all, then for leaving her. She probably feels completely dejected right now."_

"_I was buzzed, Rose. A hot girl starts kissing me, what do you expect? Plus, I had to leave. There is no way I could take advantage of her."_

"_You're damn right you couldn't. I would castrate you. But, honestly, you two have so much sexual tension between you. Why don't you guys try something? You're both single…" she suggested but I immediately waved off the idea._

"_Sex just complicates things. You should know that, look at us," I told her, motioning the space between us._

"_You're seriously going to compare this to us? First, you aren't dating another girl, namely her close friend. Second, you two know each other and trust each other better than we ever will. Third, look at us now. We're fine."_

"_Yeah, now. What about the months after we had sex? I don't want to lose months with Bella because I can't keep it in my pants."_

"_Who says that things wouldn't work out?" she questioned._

"_I'm not risking it, Rose. End of discussion. I should probably get going back, anyway. Just go along with that I picked up and brought you home, okay?"_

_She nodded and walked me out._

_As I drove home, Rose's words were thick in my mind. Sure, Bella was gorgeous and we always had a great time together. Any guy, including myself, would be lucky to land her. But, that's what any best friend would say, right? That's all we are, best friends. Plus, despite what Rose said, sex would only complicate and change our relationship, possibly ruin it as well. I would risk what I have with Bella; she's too important._

When I got home that evening, Bella was passed out, face first, on my bed. Did I mention that she only managed to get her jeans halfway off? The next morning, she was completely embarrassed. She kept telling me she had no idea what came over her and she begged me to forget about it and go back to normal. She also thanked me for stopping it when I did, and we never spoke about it again.

I never did forget it, but I rarely thought about it; until now.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" I asked her as she slid up onto the bar stool.

"Avoiding Alec. I doubt he's home, since he never is, but I didn't want to chance it. So, I thought I would come see you and all your alcohol."

"What happened?" I asked her as I grabbed a beer and passed it to her.

She took a big swing of her beer before she started. "He found me on my lunch break. We went in the on-call room and he asked all about the medicine. How long, what do I take it for, all the basics. When he asked me why I never told him, I didn't really have an answer. So he told me he's glad that I didn't accept his proposal right away. That now he needs time to think about things," she paused to take another sip of her beer. "He said 'How do I know you're not hiding anything else and what else are you capable of hiding?'. Then his beeper went off and he said this wasn't over and we 'had a lot to discuss'. Whatever," she finished, and tipped back her beer bottle, finishing that off as well. I traded her empty for a new one. "He's too angry to talk about it all right now. Nothing will get accomplished by screaming and yelling. Besides, he's overreacting. It's a medication, not a secret lover. I was embarrassed to talk about it, shouldn't he understand that?"

"Think about it if you were in his shoes. Wouldn't you be pissed if after a year you found out that you didn't know that about him? Plus, maybe he's mad that you didn't feel comfortable telling him about it."

"I guess. But I wouldn't be acting like it's the end of the world. Or that he is some sort of pathological liar. I'd get over it. It's not as big a deal as he is making it out to be."

"Like you said, he needs time to cool down. Give it to him. I'm sure he will move on."

"You think so?" she asked.

"Yeah, just give it a bit of time, B," I assured her.

"Another? Please," she asked, holding up another empty. I replaced that one as well. "Thanks for being here for me."

"Anytime, Bells."

I sounded like a pussy. Here I was talking to my best friend, the girl that I wanted more than anything. She's telling me about the fight she had with the guy that stands between me and the girl of my dreams. I know he is all wrong for her, despite what I may feel for her. So, what do I do? I assure her that everything is going to be okay. I was telling to think of how _he_ feels. This isn't how this conversation should be going. I should be trying to sway her, placing seeds of doubt about their relationship in her head. I should be making Alec look like the dick he was.

Why wasn't I?

Oh, right. Because I'm too friggin' nice. And nice guys finish last.

Well not this time.

"I should probably head home and deal with this whole mess. Thanks for the beers," she said.

She picked up her purse from the bar and just as she was about to get up, I put my hand over hers, stopping her.

"Stop," I pleaded. "Give it some more time to blow over. Besides, like you said, he probably isn't home and that will just bug you even more. And you don't want to be home alone when you're feeling like this. It's slow tonight. I'm off at one, which is in…" I paused to look at my watch "…three hours. Hang out with me until then."

She looked conflicted, but her hand relaxed under mine and she let go of the purse. "Well, the least you could do is set me up with another beer," she teased. I laughed and quickly handed her another one.

The Ranger game was on the TV closet to us, so it captivated most of Bella's attention. She kept drinking beer after beer, while I was able to throw back a few shots courtesy of some of the regulars at the bar. I had a nice buzz brewing by one, and Bella was feeling quite happy herself. I kept getting us beers past when I got off, this way we could finish watching the game, which appeared to be heading into overtime.

It was after two by the time the game ended in a shootout, and Bella and I started our short, six block walk home.

We were both plastered, countless beers and a few shots of Patron mixed in would do that to you.

As we stumbled along, the truth serum part of alcohol started to do its job.

"Wanna know what I was thinking about when I saw you walk into the bar tonight?" I asked her.

"Um- Hmmm," she responded.

"I thought about that night you broke up with the douche bag Mike."

"Oh my God! I can't believe I actually dated that guy. I thought that was just a bad dream, but that really happened."

"That was the night I learned what this does to you," I said as I moved her hair behind her shoulder and placed an open mouthed kiss on her neck. I could feel the goose bumps boil up to her skin.

"Edward!" she exclaimed, playfully slapping my chest.

"What? I love what I can do to your body."

Something changed in the way she looked at me. "Well, there's more than what meets the eye."

"Oh, really?" I questioned, flashing her my classic crooked smile as I cornered her body against the wall, my arms stretched out on either side of her head, leaving her no space to hide.

"You can't even imagine the effect you have on my body," she whispered to me. Her lips were dangerously close now; I could feel her breath on my mouth.

"I think you know exactly what _effect_ you have on my body," I told her as I pressed my growing hard on against her. Then, I heard the sound that pushed me over the edge; her delicious moan.

My mouth was instantly magnetized to hers. I couldn't get enough. Despite the frigid temperature, I didn't want to be anywhere but here, my mouth all over Bella's face and neck. My lips were glued to her body; her lips, her cheeks, her neck and her collarbone. Bella's lips were just as frantic, kissing anything in front of her, paying close attention to my stubble clad jaw line.

I was greedy; I need more of her. My hands traveled down to her ass, my hands palming the curvy mass of it. I lifted her up and pinned her against the wall; and immediately, Bella wrapped her legs around my waist. I kept myself pushed against her, enjoying the movements where she shimmied her pelvis against me.

"Need more…" she panted breathless between kisses "…let's go back home."

I reluctantly let her down, my consolation being that I could get more of Bella if and when I got her home. We both rushed, practically running the final three blocks. The elevators were ignored; we couldn't be bothered with waiting for it.

As soon as we were inside, and our eyes scanned quickly for signs that Alec might be home, our lips collided together. We both parted our mouths, allowing our tongues to explore. Clothes were flying as we peeled off each other's jackets, then shirts. Her skin was so soft and warm as I held her close to my naked torso.

Once again, I lifted her up into my arms and I carried her to my bed. I placed myself between her legs once she was laid on my bed. My hands rubbed down the length of her body, her beauty overwhelming my senses. I brought my lips to hers and she greedily captured them. She brought her hands to my hair, tangling her fingers into the mess. It felt nice feeling her fingers massage and occasionally tug at the roots of my hair. Our tongues dueled between our mouths for a while. Occasionally Bella would suck or gently bite at my bottom lip and I would do the same to her plump lips.

My lips couldn't be contained to just her lips any further; they started to roam the curves of her body. My mind tried to remember and carve into its memory every freckle and curve her body had. The goose bumps were rising quickly as I sucked and nibbled on her neck and collarbone. Her skin tasted so sweet in my mouth. I worked my way further down, teasing her perky peaks by kissing along the rim of her bra. Her back was arching up to meet my body as I kissed her flat, but soft stomach. Her body was just begging for my kisses to travel a bit lower.

I continued to pepper her midsection with kisses as my hands worked to unfasten her jeans. She eagerly helped as I slid them down and off her silky legs.

I, then, went back up to her face, savoring the taste of her mouth and how soft her lips felt against mine. Bella was getting impatient, her hands fumbling with the button of my jeans. Grasping the hint, I assisted her, making quick work of my pants which joined the growing pile of clothes strewn across the floor. Her hands slipped right into the front of my boxers. My breath hitched in my throat as her soft hand closed around my hard on. The sensation of her pumping up and down mixed with the knowledge that is was Bella doing it was enough to make me come right there.

I quickly got control of myself and repositioned myself so that Bella had to release her grip on me. I grasped hold of her wrists and pushed them up around her head, holding her in place. She smiled seductively, clearly liking being dominated in bed. It spurred me on even further.

"Don't move," I told her, releasing her wrists slowly. My hands ghosted along her bare body. I eventually hooked my fingers on either side of her lacy panties, sliding them off her.

My fingers traced the length and width of her thighs, mercilessly teasing her. Every time my fingers made their way back up towards her hips, my fingers would dip closer to her dripping wet center.

After a few minutes of that teasing, I brought my finger to where she wanted it most. My finger slid through her folds, her wetness thoroughly coating my finger. I gently started to rub her, making soft circles around her most sensitive areas. I changed up the pressure I applied as I continued playing with her, her wanton sounds making me even harder. Her back continually arched up underneath me, needing more contact. Finally, I dipped one finger inside her, causing her to moan out loudly. I pumped the single digit in and out of her, gradually adding another finger as she began to thrust her hips to meet my movements. She was growing close; I could feel it as she began getting tighter around my fingers. As soon as I curled my finger inside her, in a come hither manner, she yelled out my name and came hard on my fingers. She was throbbing around my fingers as I continued slowly pumping inside her as she came down from her post orgasmic high.

I didn't give her much recovery time; I couldn't wait any longer. I pulled off my boxers, finally springing my aching erection. I lined myself up with her entrance and I stole one last glance at Bella's face. I searched her eyes for any signs of doubt. But she nodded her head, as if to say go ahead, and all I saw in her eyes were lust and trust.

In one swift motion, I buried my length inside her. We both moaned out in pleasure as our hips met and I was fully in her. The sensation was overwhelming; it felt incredibly good; she was so tight and wet. I needed to steady myself so I didn't bust my load already.

"Give me a second. I need to adjust to your, uh, size," she said, and we both let out a slight chuckle.

After a minute or two, she was wiggling underneath me, nodding her head at me to start moving.

I started out slow, sliding in and out in long, deep strides. I was getting to know her spots and her movements as I was thrusting into her. But I couldn't stay slow for long, she felt too fucking good for that. I picked up my speed, a bit worried it might be too much for her. But as sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the room, sighs of pleasure starting slipping from her mouth. My own moans joined hers and she was meeting every thrust I made. We were moving in unison, enjoying the sheer pleasure that was being created between us.

"Ugh, harder," she panted to me.

Her wish was my command; I began thrusting harder, lifting her legs to my shoulders. The new position allowed me to reach even deeper inside her.

"Shit, Bella. So…" thrust "…fucking…" thrust "…good.," I moaned to her.

At this point I'd lost whatever tiny bit of control I had left. I was going rough on her, slamming into her hard and deep. But she didn't seem to mind one bit. She never stopped meeting my thrusts and her moans never dissipated. In fact, as I pumped deep and faster, her moans grew louder.

I was getting close, too close. I needed to get her to come, quick. I brought my hand between us and starting massaging her clit. She automatically tightened around my cock.

"I need you to come, baby."

"Kiss me," She told me.

Her legs were still at my shoulders, and she was grabbing at my chain to pull my lips to hers. I didn't have a chance to move her legs to either side of me. So she was bent in half, practically. Our lips were attached, hungrily devouring each other with her legs at either side of her head. It was incredibly sexy seeing how flexible she was. Not only that but I was getting impossibly deep inside her.

I kept my pace fast as I continued to kiss her and pound into her. Her breathing was quickening, as was mine as we were both approaching our release.

"Edward!" she yelled out in ecstasy, the walls of her pussy clamping down hard around my dick.

Her orgasm quickly brought me to mine, the tightness of her pussy milking me dry inside her.

"Fuck," I panted as I collapsed alongside her. I swore I heard her whimper as I pulled out. I worried I had hurt her. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She let out a loud scoff. "I'm more than okay, and no, you didn't hurt me. That was amazing."

"Yeah, it really was. I had no idea you could twist like that."

"I had no idea you could fuck like that," she replied shocking me with the crudeness of her comment. She just giggled as I stared at her, mouth slack. "You just completely wrecked me in bed, and you're shocked that I used fuck in a sentence?"

"Sorry, this is just all, different," I responded. "It's different being like this with you."

She propped her head up on her hand, while she turned to face me. "Different bad?"

"Not bad, just different. It won't stay like this though," I reminded her.

Flashes of her and Alec, their tense fight this morning, the kisses they shared, the proposal…. they all played in my mind.

"No, I guess it won't. I should probably get back into my bed. In case he comes home tonight, although at this point I doubt it."

"Yeah. I will see you tomorrow, I guess," I said, the tension was palpable in the air.

She gathered her clothes, covering herself with the pile and flashed me an awkward smile as she quietly walked out of my room and into her own.

I collapsed back onto my bed; Bella's smell was fresh on my sheets. I inhaled deeply, enjoying the effect her smell had on me.

I supposed that this was a perfect way to say goodbye. It was just the reason that I was escaping, and the situation already felt tense and weird. Keeping secrets and hiding emotions would be too much after spending this evening with her. I just got exactly what I wanted and it only made me want more.

I had to leave now.

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><p><em><strong>AN: Edward has decided he needs to leave in order to deal with his feelings…<strong>_

_**Next up, he has to tell Bella and what consequences will come from their night together!**_

_**Please review, I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter!**_

_**Happy Reading!**_


	4. All That You Can't Leave Behind

**Make it Fly**

Chapter 4- All That You Can't Leave Behind

_**AN: Thanks to Project Team Beta again, for all their hard work! I'd like to especially thank Madmum and furious kitten for all their comments and help getting this chapter to be the best it can be!**_

_**I hope everyone enjoys it!**_

* * *

><p>Flashes of the night Bella and I spent together played over in my head that night. After she retreated into her bedroom, I laid awake, once again unable to sleep. I tossed and turned, her scent all around me. It would only linger on these sheets for a few more nights- not that I'd be here much longer to smell them anyways. Maybe once I left, I could actually get some sleep. All my interactions around with Bella had left me extremely restless.<p>

I was nervous to face Bella in the morning. Without the influence of alcohol, only the awkwardness of the aftermath of our actions was left. She had a boyfriend- maybe a fiancé- and now a mess of a situation to explain to him, not to mention, what was left between us. What would become of us now? Would anything even change?

To me, it meant everything. Being with her was exactly as I had imagined it would be; it felt amazing and I didn't want her leaving my bed. I wanted her to stay there and allow me to worship her body, continually taking her as often as we wanted. I wanted it to last forever. I wanted to wake up with our limbs tangled together between the sheets. I would kiss her good morning and then bring her breakfast in bed. It wasn't just about the sex to me- this was the girl I loved.

What I felt wasn't just this meaningless crush that I had tried to convince myself it was. It went much deeper than that, last night only proved it further to myself. I couldn't lie to myself any longer and say that I would move beyond these boyish, crush-like feelings- because the truth was, it never was just a crush. She always meant more to me, more than I would probably ever understand. I was moving away from the life I built so that I could move past these feelings. Now, things were more complex than ever and my feelings were stronger than ever. Could I really move past loving her?

I woke up at six, knowing that she had to be at work at eight. Sure enough the strong aroma of coffee slipped in under my door and I made my way out to see her.

The Advil bottle was in her hand, her hair was sticking up in every direction and all she wore was our old high school tee shirt. Mascara was smeared across her face and her eyes dropped down. Had the tension between us not been so thick, I would have laughed at her hung-over state.

"Hey," she said to me as she threw back three Advil and washed it down with a sip of coffee. She held the Advil bottle up towards me and I shook it off. My headache wasn't from the alcohol; it was from the clusterfuck of emotions I felt. The thoughts there were waging a war inside my head.

"Hangover that bad?" I asked her.

"I'm never drinking again," she said as she hopped up on the kitchen stool and put her head down into her arms. I steadied myself next to her, figuring now was as good a time as any to talk.

"Heard from Alec at all?"

"Not even a text," she replied and took another sip from her coffee. "At this point, I'm not looking forward to talking to him at all. I feel so guilty. No matter how mad I might have been at him, I shouldn't have done this behind his back."

I nodded at her. "Yeah, are you going to tell him?"

"I don't think so. He would be devastated, and I don't know what would happen. I think it's best we just keep it a secret."

"Isn't that going to be hard? You were considering marrying the guy and now you're going to hide something like this from him?" I questioned. That wasn't the best way to start a marriage. The longer this was kept a secret, the bigger it would blow up when it finally did come out. Things like this always came back to bite you in the ass.

"It's not going to be easy, but it's for the best. He's always questioned our relationship, Edward, acting like we were more than just friends. If I told him this now, he'd think that it wasn't just a one-time thing and he's been right all along. He would be hurt beyond belief, and I don't want to do that to him. Plus, I don't want him to kick you out," she said.

"It wouldn't matter," I told her.

She put her cup of coffee down and turned to look at me. "You're moving out?"

"I'm going to Alabama for officer training. I leave in a few days."

Tears automatically welled in her eyes, much like I assumed they would, and it broke my heart to see them there. She flung herself into my arms and squeezed me tight. "You're going back into the Air Force?"

"Yeah. It's the only place I've felt like I was doing something with my life. Here, I just feel like I'm wasting my life away," I said truthfully. Sure, the biggest reason I was leaving was to escape my feelings for her, but I had other reasons as well. "Jake and I are going together."

"Is it because of me?"

_Yes_. "No," I lied.

"How long will you be gone?"

"It lasts twelve weeks."

"Oh, that's not too bad," she said, optimism ringing in her voice as she sat back up on her own stool.

"I have to re-up my contract, Bella. I'm re-enlisting for two years. I can't just go into training school without more commitment. After the officer school, I'll probably end up back here and work at the recruiting station with Jake. Then, I want to go to pilot school when that's in session," I explained to her and her face dropped again.

"How long is that?"

"Ten months."

She automatically flung herself back into my arms and clung onto me as if her life depended on it. I heard her sniffle as she cried into my arms. I rubbed circles on her back and ran fingers through her hair as I whispered that everything would be okay.

She sat up, straightened herself out and wiped away the stray tears left on her cheeks. She put a small smile on her face as she looked at me once more before standing up. "I should go get ready," she said and walked back towards the bathroom. She turned around though one last time. "I want to throw a party for you. No ifs, ands or buts about it. It's happening."

She didn't give me a chance to argue because the door to the bathroom closed as she finished her sentence.

I dragged my feet back into my bedroom, flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Things between Bella and I had never been so difficult. Being around her used to be the easiest thing in the world, just like breathing. Now, she took my breath away and I was drawn to her like never before. As soon as I could see her, I wanted to wrap my arms around her, kiss her and never let her go. But that wasn't possible.

Our conversation wasn't as awkward as I imagined, but I couldn't believe she would just hide this from Alec. It was like she just wanted to forget it ever happened. I couldn't think that way, but the thought of it broke my heart. This girl had me whipped and I wasn't even in a relationship with her.

I knew that she would shed tears and be upset when I told her I was leaving. It seemed like she was hiding from me now though- rushing to go get ready. She could see through me, and she knew I was leaving because of her and because of what happened.

I let myself think back to the night before and the amazing time we shared together. Her lips on mine, her skin against mine, perfection coming together. Somewhere in the bliss of my memories, I fell asleep, only to be swarmed with more memories of Bella and I.

_It was New Year's Eve and I was all alone on my couch. I had a bowl of popcorn in my lap, "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" on the television and a glass of tequila on the table beside me. My parents decided that being a sophomore in high school meant I was old enough to be left alone; they went to some boring party that one of my dad's co-workers was hosting. If I was old enough to spend the night alone, I was old enough to steal from my parents' liquor._

_I was bored as fuck. Ben and Tyler were with their girlfriends- lucky fuckers. Jessica AND Rose were currently not speaking to me, not that it was a new thing for them not to speak to me. These days, they spent more time not talking to me than talking to me. And Bella… well she was off doing things that she shouldn't be._

_Her stupid fuck of a "boyfriend" was back from college and I knew she was dying to see him. Her parents would be out tonight, like they had been for the past few years, and Bella would no doubt be trying to get him to come over. Even after the major damage he did to her, she still stuck around because he was her first, something that no one else would ever be able to take. _

_I just hoped that she would be okay._

_It was just about eleven, and I was over the bullshit of New Year's. I was about to just go up into bed and call it a night and only wake up when something worth doing was happening._

_Then, there was a knock at the door. I had no idea who it could be, since I already got the pizza I ordered earlier. I opened and Bella stood on my porch, soaked._

"_Bella? What the hell are you doing here? It's freezing and pouring rain outside!" I asked her as I pulled her inside. She was wearing her tiny ass pjs, a tank top and shorts. Her body was freezing underneath my fingers._

_I grabbed a towel from the hallway closet and wrapped it around her body. I brought her to the couch and put my arm around her, when she broke down in tears. I held her close to me as her body shook from sobs. I tried to calm her but my words did little to console her. _

"_What happened? Did someone hurt you?" I asked, the knowledge of James being back in town forcing me to ask this question._

_She shook her head no but tears continued to fall._

_I moved the towel up to wipe her face and hair a bit because the cold water wasn't helping to warm her up. I realized quickly I couldn't leave her in those wet clothes. Not to mention my couch and I were getting soaked in the process._

_I got up to go and get her clothes when she grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me back. "Where are you going? Please, don't take me back home. I don't want to be alone," she begged._

"_To get you clothes. You can't stay in that. You're not going anywhere," I explained._

_She seemed to relax a bit when I assured her she could stay with me. She let go, got herself up and walked into my room. Our houses were like second nature to us; we both knew our way around as if it was our own. I grabbed her a pair of old sweatpants and a tee shirt for her to wear. She twirled her finger around in the air, indicating for me to turn around while she changed. I did as she asked but I couldn't help myself; I had to turn around and sneak a peek. She may have been my best friend, but she was still a naked girl in my room and I was a guy. Damn, did she have some nice tits! I couldn't help but wonder how soft they would feel in my hands…_

"_I'm done," she said and I turned around to see her towel drying her hair. "Had to sneak a peek, huh?" she added, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly._

"_I'm a guy, Bells. Can you blame me?"_

"_You're supposed to be my best friend, you've already seen me in my bra, couldn't you just leave the rest to the imagination?" she asked._

"_You want me to picture you naked? Okay," I joked and brought a finger to my chin and pretended to picture something. I grinned widely as I pictured her awesome rack._

"_Edward! You're not supposed to think of me like that," she said to me._

"_You asked for it. You got naked in my room! You may be my best friend, but you still have tits, and as far as I'm concerned boobs are boobs," I told her._

_She flung her wet tank top at me and smacked me right in the side of the head._

"_You're gonna pay for that Swan," I warned her. I ran towards her and she squealed as I lifted her up and threw her onto my bed. I jumped on top of her and began to tickle her relentlessly. She squirmed and kicked underneath me but I didn't let up. She was laughing and twitching, almost violently, and I couldn't help but laugh too. That was until one of her kicks accidently landed on my nuts._

"_Oof," I said as I collapsed beside Bella on the bed, clutching my groin._

"_Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Can I do anything for you?" she asked._

"_Kiss my boo-boo?" I teased her and winked at her. She shoved my shoulder and stood up. _

"_You're such a pervert!" she told me._

_I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "Gonna tell me what happened?"_

_I had already sensed that she had drifted away from the lightness of the atmosphere we had only minutes ago. She turned around and placed her head against my chest. I kissed the top of her head before lifting it, urging her with my eyes to tell me what happened._

"_I wanted him to come over; I figured after months away he would want to see me. But when I was talking to him, he said he would only come over if I would sleep with him. He told me that he didn't want to waste his time. So, I said I was done. Why is just being with me a waste of time? Why does it always have to be about sex?" she sobbed to me._

_I squeezed her close to me, smoothing her hair down her back. "He is an idiot, Bells. He doesn't know what he has. You did the right thing by ending it."_

"_But I feel like such a…"_

_I didn't care how she ended that sentence. She didn't deserve to feel like anything bad. "This isn't you. None of this is your fault and you are not a bad person. This is him and the fact that he is a dick."_

"_God, why didn't I just listen to you?" she cried._

"_Can I record you saying that?" I asked her, and she finally broke out into a tiny giggle._

_I brought my hand to her cheek and wiped the tears away from her face. I smiled at her and she actually smiled back. As we stood there, quiet finally filled the room. Through the quiet, the television noise from downstairs was now audible._

"_5, 4, 3, 2, 1…"_

_It was midnight._

"_Happy New Year, Bella."_

"_Happy New Year, Edward," she told me and went up on her tippy toes to give me a kiss on the cheek._

_I don't know what came over me, but I twisted my face as she brought her lips up and her lips landed on mine. My hands went up to her face and cradled it as my lips kissed her harder. Bella was surprised at first, her lips frozen from shock. But after a few seconds, she started moving her lips in sync with mine. I parted my lips and she did the same, allowing my tongue to explore her mouth. My arms wrapped around her body as hers wrapped around my neck, her fingers twirling around the hair at the nape of my neck. For some reason, I couldn't pull away; my lips were drawn to hers- my lips wrapped around her plump bottom lip. Bella was an amazing kisser. _

_I pulled back reluctantly, not wanting to freak Bella out any further, I pulled back reluctantly, rested my forehead against hers, and smiled. She brought her fingers up to her swollen lips and cocked an eyebrow at me, questioning my kiss. "Happy New Year. Your first kiss of the New Year. I just wanted to show you that you still have plenty of firsts to give to someone who deserves them," I whispered in her ear and placed one last kiss on her lips. "Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't deserve to hear your voice."_

That was the first time I ever kissed my best friend. I always found her incredibly gorgeous, funny and smart. I had never really been single throughout the beginning of me knowing her, my attention always drawn towards someone else. That night, though, all my thoughts were centered on her and it baffled me how I never saw it before.

That was the night I developed feelings for my best friend.

It was two nights before I was set to leave for Alabama. Bella, true to her word, threw me a party at our apartment. It wasn't overly done, which I was grateful for. It was just our group, Jake, Garrett and Felix from the bar and a co-worker of Bella's, Jane. The less people the better since I wasn't looking forward to this party in the first place. My leaving wasn't something that I wanted to celebrate.

I situated myself in the kitchen, next to the fridge which was stocked with beer. Emmett and Jasper worked their way over to me and hung around with me as we chugged our drinks.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me. I thought we had something real," Emmett teased.

"The sex wasn't that good," I joked in return.

Emmett pretended to be hurt, clutching his heart and wiping away an imaginary tear. "Seriously, dude. Why do you have to go?"

"Things are way too complex here. I need to just back away and figure shit out."

"You can't do that in New York? You need to travel all the way to Bumblefuck, Alabama to do that?" Jasper questioned.

"Bella and I kinda hooked up," I blurted out.

They both looked at each other before turning their attention back to me with big grins on their face.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Jasper asked.

"Good job," Emmett added.

"Not really," I stated and pointed my finger towards the make-shift dance floor where the living room normally was. Alice and Rose were grinding against each other, earning stares from Felix that would definitely get his ass kicked by Emmett and Jasper. Garrett was getting to know Jane pretty well beside them and then in the corner was the object of all my complications. Alec and Bella were swaying to the music, their temples touching as he whispered into her ear and she giggled along with whatever he said.

"Ouch," Emmett said, slapping his hand onto my shoulder. "But that shouldn't mean you have to leave. You can come live with me and Rosie," he offered.

"Um, I'm gonna have to pass. As much as I'd love to live with you and Rose, and whatever you two do, it might be a little awkward," I told him.

"Dude, you're running out of places to go. Stop sleeping with your friends, dude. First Rose, now Bella… Alice better not be next," Jasper warned.

"Don't worry, Alice is safe, Jazz. I think it's just best to get away, sort out my feelings while doing something worthwhile with my life. It's more than just Bella: I feel like I'm wasting my life away here."

"Well, we're gonna miss you dude. No homo," Emmett told me. Jasper nodded alongside him and we bumped fists. Our attention was brought to the dance floor, where Alec was clinking his beer bottle to grab everyone's attention.

"I'd just like everyone's attention for a moment," he said with a wide grin across his face. I had a feeling as to what the announcement was, but I didn't want it to be true. I knew he wasn't giving me a farewell speech so whatever this was about, I knew I wouldn't be enjoying it. "I know that tonight we are all gathered to send Edward off to officer training. We all wish him luck and to get home safely," he said and lifted his bottle in my direction. I barely nodded my head, as I knew that the statement was just made out of of obligation rather than sincerity. I glanced at Bella, who seemed to be on the verge of tears. All eyes were on her, but her gaze was set on me. "Even though this is Edward's night, Bella and I have an announcement we'd like to make since everyone is here," he continued, wrapping his arm around Bella. "We're getting married!"

Bella's eyes welled up as she saw me grit my teeth. People gasped and began to clap but all I saw was red. She gave me sympathetic eyes, pleading with me over something I couldn't understand. She had made her choice.

Emmett and Jasper went to try to touch me, to try to keep me in place, but I pulled away from them and straight out the door. I ignored the clacking of heels following me as I moved down the hallway towards the stairs. As I reached the stairwell, her hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"Edward…"

"Don't, Bella. Don't you dare come out here and Edward me," I told her and turned around to face her. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her lips trembled as she waited for me to speak again. "Don't you have guests waiting to congratulate you?"

"I told him not to do this tonight. That tonight was your night," she tried to explain and placed her hand on my arm. I immediately flinched away.

"Tonight is my night? That's why you think I'm upset?" I scoffed at her. "You and I slept together a few nights ago and now you're announcing your engagement days before I leave! Did that night mean nothing to you? Was it just a drunken mistake?"

"It's not like that! I am in a committed relationship, Edward. It's not that simple. Plus, you are the one leaving," she said.

"What did it mean to you, Bella? What did being with me that night mean?" I asked.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. A shadow appeared behind us, and we turned around to see Rose standing there. Bella wiped away her tears and focused her attention on Rose.

"People are wondering where you two went. Alec is getting worried, Bella. You should probably get back," Rose told her. Bella nodded and brushed past Rose towards our apartment. I was surprised when Rose stayed and looked at me. She moved closer and embraced me.

"What is this about, Rose?"

"I know she's the reason you're leaving. Bella told me what happened the other night."

"And you just saw what the consequences were. She gets engaged," I commented.

"I just wanted to tell you that she's taking the easy way out. She's confused about her feelings. Alec was there, he asked and you're running. So, she took the offer that was given to her."

"So, because I didn't ask her to marry me after we slept together that means she should just take the second best offer that comes around?"

"I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying that she doesn't know what she wants. I don't think it's Alec. But if you don't stick around to show her what she really wants, then you're never going to get what you want. It will be too late," she said to me.

"It's already too late, Rose. She made her choice. If she wanted to be with me, she wouldn't have said yes. Confusion isn't enough to make me stay," I told her and pushed past her to go back into the party.

"So, you promise you'll Skype at least once a week?"

"I don't know about once a week, Al. I'll try to do it once every two weeks," I told her.

"Okay, how about this, we try for once a week and then if it turns out to be once every two weeks, I won't be mad, okay?" she said and stuck her tiny hand out for me to shake.

I laughed as I shook her hand, like I just made a deal with the devil. She pulled me in for a hug and squeezed me tight as I kissed the top of her head.

"I'll miss you, Edward," she said as she pulled away.

"I'll miss you too, Al."

Jasper came to pull Alice away and give me a "bro hug" to say goodbye. "Now Alice, don't hold Edward to this whole Skype thing. He isn't going on vacation, darling. He has actual work to do."

"He shook on it. It's a done deal," she said, blowing me a kiss before prancing out of the apartment with Jasper on her heels.

Emmett came up to me next, slapping me on the back and whispering in my ear, "Have some fun. Let loose a little. Get your mind off things," he told me and wiggled his eyebrows at me.

Rose pushed him away and hugged me again and reminded me of our earlier conversation. "Be safe, Edward. People here care about you despite their actions," she said, her eyes shifting over to Bella and back to me. Her eyes told me that she understood but that she wished things were different. I knew that she was looking out for both Bella and I. She wanted us both to be happy, and she didn't want Bella making a mistake by marrying Alec. At that point, Bella should have known where we stood. If she couldn't come to the conclusion on her own about us, I wasn't going to stay and fight to change her mind.

I nodded at her and watched as the last of our guests closed the door behind them. The apartment was a wreck; I already noticed Bella tidying up. But Alec was gathering his stuff as if he was getting ready to leave.

"Edward, I just got called to the hospital, so I've got to run. I just wanted to say good luck down there. You have a room here if you ever come back," he said and offered his hand for me to shake.

I gripped his hand tightly and nodded my thanks to him. He waved goodbye to Bella, leaving the cleaning up to just us.

Then there were two.

I started picking up the stray plates and cups left around, gathering them up to throw away. Bella's hand pulled them out of mine and she shook her head at me. "This was your party. You don't have to clean up."

I ignored her though and continued to help. I moved our furniture back around into their proper places in the living room while Bella took care of all the garbage. Within a half hour, the place looked normal again. I stared off into space, wondering about what Bella was thinking, what our night together meant to her and why was she marrying Alec… My mind was in a million places at once as her hand was waving in front of my face.

"Sorry," I said to her. "I'm just gonna get to bed, I think. Thanks for the party."

"You don't want to stay up a little while longer and talk?" By this time she was on the couch, patting the cushion next to her. She had already changed into her ratty, old, night shirt that had holes all over it and her tiny shorts. Her hair was pulled back and yet she never looked more gorgeous to me.

I put my finger up to her, asking her to give me a minute to get changed myself. I threw off my clothes and put on a wife beater and a pair of basketball shorts. I joined her on the couch, and she leaned her head against my shoulder.

"Why don't you throw this old tee shirt out?" I asked her.

"It means too much to me."

"It's just a shirt."

"You don't remember this shirt?" she asked. I looked down at it, studying the logo of our high school, and to me, it looked like any other shirt she kept from high school. I shook my head no. "This was the shirt you gave me that night I came over on New Year's. Do you remember that night?"

"Of course I do. That was the first night I ever kissed you," I blurted out.

She smiled and her shoulders shook from tiny giggles. "Yeah it was. I think that's when my feelings really grew for you."

"Why are you doing this, Bella?"

"I just want you to know what you mean to me," she told me.

"I obviously don't mean enough to you for you not to marry Alec."

Her head fell and her shoulders slumped over. "It's not that simple, Edward. I made a commitment to Alec, and I can't just turn my back on it. It's not fair to him."

"What about me?" I asked. I took her by her shoulders and made her look at me. She had a deep frown on her face, and I could see now that it looked like she had barely gotten any sleep these past few days. "It isn't fair to me. Shit, Bella, it isn't fair to you. Do you love him? Do you want to be with him?"

"I don't know!" she yelled out as her tears began to fall more steadily. "I don't know anymore. I was fine in my life, Edward. I was content knowing that I could have you in my life as my best friend and only my best friend. I tried, I told you I wanted to be with you and you didn't reciprocate. It broke my heart and I moved on. I got over it because you told me no."

"I told you not then. How was it fair to us to start a relationship the night before I left for four years?"

"It was still a no! I wasn't going to sit around waiting for you. I met someone, I was happy. Then you come along and all of a sudden decide that you want something more. And you expect me to drop my life and just respond! I was settled, Edward! Now, I don't know what the hell I want!" she exclaimed.

"I didn't expect anything. Why do you think I never said anything?"

"You think I don't know you? I've known you for almost ten years. I knew, we all knew. Fuck, I think even Alec knows!"

"I didn't mean to fuck your life up. Sorry!" I yelled back at her.

"Don't put words in my mouth, Edward!"

The anger that filled us in that moment turned into lust for me. I grabbed her face and brought her lips to mine. Her hands were slapping against my chest, trying to fight me off, but I kept my lips firmly planted on hers. Her actions slowed and her lips began to move in accordance with mine. Eventually, she stopped fighting me altogether and threw her arms around my neck. She kissed me with everything she had, her lips sucking on mine, occasionally nibbling a bit. She moved over to straddle me and get closer to me. My hands moved from her face to her hips, grasping her ass and pulling her harder against me.

My lips moved from hers and down to her neck and into her cleavage. Her hands were tugging at the roots of my hair and pushing my face further down into her shirt. I chuckled against her body, and it broke her from our trance. Her hold on my hair eased up and she shifted away from my body.

"We shouldn't be doing this," she said as she got up and sat next to me again.

"Why not? Why shouldn't we be doing this when we both know it feels so right? Why are we fighting it so damn hard?"

"Because! I'm engaged. You're leaving. You said it yourself, it's not fair for us to start something right before you leave. The timing is never right for us."

"Admit it. You have feelings for me," I said to her.

"Edward…"

"Bella, just say it!" I yelled.

"Fine! I love you! But it doesn't change anything. You're my best friend and I don't want you to go. But we both know that my admitting that doesn't change a Goddamned thing. You're still leaving."

"At least you know the truth. At least you know that you're lying to yourself by being with him," I told her and got up to go to my bedroom. I'd had enough fighting with her. I didn't want to leave angry with her.

"What will get you to stay?"

"Be with me," I told her.

She pursed her lips together and allowed tears to fall down her face. "I love you. You're my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without you…"

"It's not enough," I said. I turned my back and went into my room, closing the door and collapsing onto my bed.

I heard Bella sobbing through my door, and it took all my strength to not go and comfort her. No words at this point would bring much comfort to either of us.

She loved me. I loved her. Yet, I was still leaving and she was still engaged. I gave it all I had and obviously it wasn't enough. I missed my chance and now, all I had was second best.

Anyone compared to Bella would always be second best.

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><p><em><strong>AN: Poor Edward- he's off to Alabama to become an officer.<strong>_

_**In the next chapter, Edward comes back to find many things have stayed the same but some haven't.**_

_**Thanks to everyone who has read, alerted and reviewed this story! I really have enjoyed writing this story and it's really special to me! I hope that you all stick with it to see where Edward and Bella end up!**_

**_Happy Reading and please review!_**


	5. Miserable at Best

Make it Fly

Chapter 5 – Miserable at Best

_**AN: Thanks for everyone who has been keeping track of this story! I really appreciate it! This story means a lot to me and I love writing it. It really helps me write to see the support you all have given this story!**_

_**I'd like to thanks the ladies over at Project Team Beta for all the help they have given this chapter! Lattecoug and Woodlily really did an amazing job proofing this chapter and making it the best it can be! You guys are amazing!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

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><p>Exhaustion.<p>

That was the only word I could use to describe how officer training made me feel. My body and mind were completely worn down; all I wanted to do was lie down and never get back up.

I didn't think that it was going to be this hard; I knew it was going to be hard, but this is a nightmare. Each day started out at the ungodly hour of 5:20am, every morning. For an hour, everyone would work on physical conditioning; we stretched, ran and did calisthenics. Then we broke for forty-five minutes to have breakfast. Next, until eleven, we would hone our physical skills. We did drill practices, practiced firing our weapons, parade practice or work on our teamwork skills in something called the Leadership Reaction Course. Teamwork was impressed upon us in all facets of our training.

After that, we broke for lunch for an hour. From noon-5:30pm we stayed in the classroom for the most part. We studied past wars, writing strategies, principles of war, Air Force history, leadership and management case studies, and a bunch more shit. Then, we broke for an hour to have dinner.

Our day was basically done after that. We just went back to barracks and prepared for the next day. Cleaned our uniforms, attended special flight meetings or study. Lights were normally out by ten and we would start the schedule all over again.

I thought that twelve weeks would drag on for a while. Each day just blended into the other, days becoming weeks and the next thing I knew, it was time for our final tests.

I was pushed to the limits—exceeding the physical officer training standards, academic training standards, and military bearing training standards. I had to write and brief military operations, lead a flight, and perform all duties on the officer training wing.

It was a bitch, but after the twelve weeks, I graduated top of my class as a Second Lieutenant in the Air Force.

My contact with everyone back at home was limited. I kept my promise to Alice and Jasper, connecting onto Skype every other week to chat. They kept me in the loop for the most part.

Emmett and Rose decided they were going to try to have a baby. Apparently, they had been locking themselves in their apartment since football season was over and had been going at it pretty much nonstop. Twelve weeks though, and still no baby on their horizon. I felt sorry for them— they were as good as anyone else I knew. I knew that they would be amazing parents and give a baby the most love it could take. It was sad that they had to try so hard to conceive when women got pregnant every day and they didn't even want to.

Alice was starting to get baby fever too— I could tell. She kept joking with Jasper about when they were going to start trying. Jasper wasn't ready though. His job took up a lot of his time; he had many obligations to his patients. Alice could work from home, designing new lines and overseeing her store through other workers. Jasper had to keep stability for his patients, each week same time, same day. He wasn't ready to take time off to make a baby, prepare for it and bring it into the world. But overall, they seemed happy.

I ignored the topic of Bella and Alec, hoping my friends would too. But Alice wasn't exactly someone who kept her opinions to herself. She didn't like Alec and didn't shy away from telling Bella that. Alice thought that Alec was more attached to being a doctor than to being with Bella. I agreed with Alice.

Alice thought that Bella and I were meant to be together. Since I had known her, she kept declaring that one day Bella and I would be together. I prayed that she was right, but with the way things kept unfolding, her prophecy seemed more and more increasingly unlikely.

Bella and Alec were rarely seen together, Jasper informed me. There had been no wedding talk, and Alec spent most nights sleeping at the hospital. Bella spent a lot of time with Alice and Jasper, or Rose and Emmett, when they weren't getting it on. Alice kept telling me how sad Bella seemed, and that she wasn't herself.

If I allowed myself to dwell on it, I was worried. Bella didn't exactly have a good track record when she got into a funk. She would stop eating, sleeping, and sometimes bathing. I just hoped that she continued taking her medicine, and that Jasper could see the signs that I would see if I was there.

She called me a few times. Sometimes, I couldn't pick up— I had either been in class or was getting to bed. One night, she was particularly heavy on my mind. I was lying in bed, far away from being able to sleep. Memories of our times together danced in flashes before my eyes. I was torn between smiling at the amazing feeling I had felt from being with her, and miserable because it would never amount to more. As if she could tell what I was thinking, her name had appeared on my caller ID. I couldn't bring myself to pick it up, though.

She left me a long voicemail that time, the first and only time. _"Edward. I hate the way we left things. When did things between us grow so complicated? I don't think we have ever gone this long without talking and it's driving me mad. I feel hopeless, like no matter what path I chose to walk, I'll be damned. I need my best friend, Edward. You're the only one that understands me. I miss you. I love you. I hope that you're doing okay— better than me. I wanted to tell you something. Before you left, you asked me what that night meant to me. That night, Edward, will be etched in my mind for eternity. Being with you was a dream come true and I truly mean that. I'm only sorry that the timing wasn't right. With us, it never seems to be. I'll never forget the night we spent together, like I'll never forget you. No matter how far you run from me. I love you. Be safe."_

As usual, hearing her voice, especially so lifeless and sad, tugged at my heart. I almost got on a plane and went home just to hug her and tell her how I really felt. Tell her that I love her and that she should leave Alec. Tell her that she should be with me and I would make sure she would always be happy. But I didn't. I saved the voicemail, to torment myself with it later and put all my energy in my training.

That was three weeks ago. Now, it's finally time to graduate and head back home for six months. Then, I would be going back to Alabama to the Air University and further my ranking and knowledge in piloting.

While I was enrolled in officer training school, I took all the necessary tests and medicals to be enrolled in the Undergraduate Pilot School. I had the right body mass and physical fitness required. I took the Air Force Officer Qualifying Test, receiving above the minimum scores to be a pilot. I also had to take the pilot Candidate Selection Method test. That was part physical and part psychological. According to my superiors, I received the highest PCSM score in the officer training program, which meant I would probably get the most flying hours.

The pilot school was fifty-two weeks of twelve-hour a day, and up to seven days a week of training. I would travel across the nation during this time, going to all different bases, learning different facets of becoming a pilot at all the different locations. I had been told it would be the most challenging, yet most rewarding, time of my life. I was both scared shitless and excited to embark on that journey.

My parents were the only ones to come to graduation this time. Since I hadn't spoken to Bella throughout my time here, it didn't surprise me that she didn't show. My parents could not stop asking where she was though. They were both surprised that she wasn't accompanying them.

"Oh, Edward! We're so proud of you! I can't believe you're going to be gone for another whole year soon, though," my mother gushed.

"Thanks, Mom. But, it's what I need to do," I explained, kissing her on the cheek.

"I understand, sweetie. What I don't understand is where Bella is. I was certain she would have wanted to come with us. I haven't even heard from her in ages!"

"She's got a fiancée now, Mom…" I started to say but she waved her hand and hushed me.

"Please, Edward. She's you're best friend and practically like a daughter to me. She isn't going to just drop you because she is engaged. I'm sure she'll be picking you up at the airport," she said confidently. I wasn't so sure though.

My parents took me to another celebratory dinner. Most of the time was spent with them filling me in on their lives. My father was about to become chief of staff at his hospital, so he had been rather busy. My mother was helping a new neighbor decorate their house. They were both doing the things they loved and still had time to pay attention to each other. There was no resentment in their eyes about the time they had to spend apart from each other. The only feeling I ever saw from either of them was love.

As much as I loved seeing my parents, I was happy to see them go. Watching them so happy, being with the person they wanted, made me a bit sick. At this point, I just wanted to be home— in the apartment that the girl I loved shared with another man.

This time spent away from her only strengthened the love I felt for her. When I allowed my mind to wander towards thinking about her, all I felt was longing. I missed her. I missed her warm eyes and bright smile. I missed her soft skin and how it brushed against mine when she hugged me. I missed her laugh. There wasn't a God dammed thing I didn't miss about her.

Finally, seated beside Jake, I was on the plane heading home. I managed to get a spot working alongside him at the recruiting office where he worked before entering officer training school. We both had a week between graduation and when we needed to report to the office. After working there for six months, we were both to arrive to Alabama for an orientation of sorts. The first base we would be going to visit was in Columbus, Ohio— that was where we would start our piloting school. I was going for piloting, while Jake was going for combat specialty. It was nice knowing I'd at least have familiar company for some part of the long year of training.

"Ready to face the real world again?" Jake questioned as we started to make our descent into LaGuardia.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"You think she's going to be here?"

"I don't know, man. I don't know," I told him, staring out the window at the big red apple that was in the middle of the big sign that read, "Welcome to New York." th

We were the first ones off the plane and to get to baggage claim. It was Alice's spiky black hair I noticed first, and then I saw everyone else. They had all come to welcome me home, even my Bella. She stood to the side, wearing jeans and an old hoodie I had given her many years ago. She forced a small smile onto her face when she spotted me.

Rose and Alice attacked me, jumping on me to give me a hug, each one trying to be the first. Emmett and Jasper were quick on their heels, patting my back and bumping my fist, as I made my way closer to Bella.

All eyes were on the two of us as we stood a few feet apart. Bella looked as though she let a deep breath out and jumped into my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed, and cried gently. I held her close, spinning her around.

"It's okay, I'm here now," I whispered into her ear.

"Dude, we're going out tonight! So, take Bella home, you two get ready and we will meet at the bar at eight. Got it, kiddies?" Emmett asked.

Everyone had already nodded for Bella and me before we could make a decision. Emmett and Rose were out the airport doors as I grabbed my one bag and turned to Jasper, Alice and Bella.

"Hey, Jazz, Alice, Bella— this is Jake. I don't think I properly introduced you guys at my going away party," I told my friends, motioning back to Jake. He shook all their hands before coming back to shake mine.

"Well, it was a shit twelve weeks, Cullen. Can't wait for the fifty-two more weeks of hell to come with you. See you next week, man."

"Later, Black," I said, waving goodbye.

I grabbed my bag and went to short-term parking to see my Mustang waiting for me.

"Bella thought you might want to drive your baby home," Alice explained.

"Fuck yeah, I do. You drive it here, Bells?" I asked. She nodded, smiling a little wider. "You're coming with me, right?" Once again, she nodded and we both got into my car.

The silence was a bit awkward at first as we first got onto the Grand Central Parkway. I turned up the radio, turning on a classic rock station, and laughed as I heard the song on the radio. It was "The Joker" by the Steve Miller Band.

"Remember this song, B?"

I looked over at her and she was biting on her bottom lip, but she nodded.

"Are you going to talk to me at all?"

Instead of talking, she sang to me. "_I really love your peaches; want to shake your trees…"_

"I've always loved your peaches," I told her, enjoying that familiar blush that crept up onto her cheeks.

That was sort of our song, if we ever had one. One night while playing pool, we heard that song on the radio. To tease her, I pretended I didn't understand the innuendo of what "peaches" referred to. So Bella, having a few beers in her, came up right in front of my face and squeezed her breasts together. She shook them and told me those were peaches. Since then, we couldn't keep a straight face while listening to that song.

"How are you, B?"

"Not good," she said honestly.

"I figured that much. Wanna talk about it?"

She was looking out the window, ignoring my question. I thought that maybe she hadn't heard me. But then, she finally explained everything to me. "It's been hard being without you after being with you. Alec is never around. I feel like I lost my best friend and my fiancé all at the same time. I've felt so sick lately, I haven't gone to work all that much. I'm just barely hanging onto life. How am I supposed to do all this? What am I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to be happy. Don't think about anyone else; you have to think about yourself. Look at you, Bells. Have you even been taking your medicine?" Her silence was my answer. "You care about what will happen to Alec and what will happen to me, but look at yourself. Alec is out doing whatever he needs to get done. I graduated as an officer. We're fine— it's you that isn't. So, let's focus on you a bit and not everyone else."

We parked in the basement parking level of our building. I walked around and opened the door for her, helping her out of the car. I knew that I would have to get Bella started back on her medicine, showered and dressed. Then, get her back to work. I was kind of pissed that Alec couldn't take even a few minutes out of his busy schedule to notice how his fiancée was. I knew that Bella could easily hide it from Alice and Jasper- she'd been doing that forever. If she was going to see them, she would have showered, got dressed and plastered on a fake smile, long enough to convince them she was okay. But if you lived with her, there would be no hiding from it. Alec should have known better. Throughout the time she has been taking her medication, she had been like this a few times. Sometimes it was a few days, other times it was a bit longer. But for the most part, a hot shower, getting dressed and making her do something started to get her out of her funk.

I got Bella up into our apartment and took her into her room. I noticed that her prescription was entirely full although it had been filled over a month ago. I grabbed a dress from her closet and the same bra and panties she wore the night we were together. I pulled her by the wrist, taking two towels from the closet on my way into the bathroom. I flipped the water on hot and laid down the mat so no one would slip.

She stood before me a wreck. Her body was limp, her arms just hanging at her sides. Her hair was in knots in a bun atop her head. Makeup looked to have never been on her face- though she never did need that shit— and the clothes she wore were too big for her tiny frame. I still only saw beauty when I looked at her, but she was only a shell of the girl I loved.

I lifted the hoodie up and over her head. I unclasped the bra from behind her back and slipped it off her arms. I un-did the button to her jeans and pulled them down with her underwear at the same time. I shouldn't have looked but I did. She was still as gorgeous as I remembered, but her ribs were showing. I knew that she hadn't been eating well.

I took my own sweatshirt off and my jeans. I picked her up and placed her and myself in the shower, me still in a tee shirt and boxers. There wasn't anything remotely sexual about this. She needed this and it appeared I would be the only one who would do it.

I took her fruity shampoo and lathered it into her hair. I bent her head back, massaging the shampoo deep to her roots and then rinsed it out. I smoothed in her conditioner and rinsed that out as well. I grabbed her poufy ball washcloth thing and squirted the coconut body wash she always used onto it. I washed her back first, bringing the poof ball over her shoulders and neck. Then, I turned her around and cleaned her arms and stomach. Carefully, I bent down so that I could lather her legs. I was in dangerous territory but we both knew what was going on— I just needed to get her going again.

I held her under the water, allowing the warmth to slide over her body to wake her up a bit. I could see some life coming back to her eyes as she began to move her neck, the water reliving the tension she was holding.

When the water got cold, I turned it off and wrapped a towel around her body. She surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck and holding me tight.

"Thank you," she whispered quietly.

"Anything for you. You know you really should shower more; it always made you feel better. Now, go take one of your pills and get your ass dressed. We're going out tonight."

"Yes, doctor. I'm glad you're home, Edward. Nothing is ever the same without you," she told me, smiling genuinely for the first time since I got home.

I smiled back as I grabbed a towel for myself. I went into what was my room, and I guess still was. All my civilian clothes were still there, but it seemed like my closets had been rummaged through. I slipped on a new pair of boxers and tee-shirt, then the pair of jeans I had been missing. I turned around and saw Bella standing in the doorframe.

Her hair was down, left to dry curly. She didn't have makeup on, but she rarely wore a lot of it anyways. She picked out a different dress; this one was black, and went to right above her knees. It had cap sleeves and sparkled all over. The dress hugged her body tightly, revealing she didn't have a single imperfection on her frame. "Sorry about your room. When I missed you, I came in here and stole your tee-shirts. They still had your smell, it was the only thing I had left of you," she told me.

I threw on a button down shirt over my plain white tee, cuffing it at the elbows. As I buttoned it, I walked towards Bella, kissing her on the cheek. "It's okay. I thought it looked like someone went through my drawers."

Bella leaned against my door and I leaned against her. My face was close to hers and I could feel her unsteady breath on my face. Her lips inched closer to mine, and I brought mine closer down to hers.

Then, there was a knock on the door. We both fumbled and moved away from each other. We pretended to straighten out our clothes, even though they weren't askew. I smiled at her and she smiled back before we walked out the door and went with our friends to the bar.

Emmett and Rose were already making out against the wall of the bar as we walked up to meet them.

"Do you two ever stop?" Alice asked as we got closer.

"Rosie is ovulating today. If it wasn't Eddie's first night back, we would be in the bedroom right now. So, you're welcome, Eddie!" Emmett said, slapping me on the back.

"I'm so honored, you two. Truly," I said sarcastically.

We all walked in, and I got hoots and hollers from the bartenders and regulars I used to see all the time when I worked here. The manager gave me free drinks all night. Everyone ordered their drinks, Rose getting a coke and I was surprised when Bella ordered one too.

"I've been feeling so sick lately, and with restarting the medication, I don't want a hangover on top of it all," she explained when I questioned her.

We went towards the tiny dance floor between the pool tables and danced along to whatever the jukebox played. We all danced and drank, talking occasionally about things I missed out on. The girls decided they wanted to dance together, so the rest of us stayed on the sidelines making sure none of them got groped by a pervert. Rose and Alice danced circles around Bella, who was just barely moving her hips. She wasn't completely there, but it was certainly a start.

Emmett and Rose left first, they wanted to get back to trying to make a baby. Jasper and Alice had decided to leave shortly after, so Bella and I didn't find much reason to stay after that.

Once we got back into the apartment, Bella ran straight into the bathroom. I went to follow her but she locked the door behind her. I heard her heave into the toilet and I felt bad that I took her out at all. I sat at the door with a glass of water and toast, waiting for her to come out.

After an hour, she came out and seemed grateful for the water. She ignored the toast though.

"You should eat it; the doctor always told you that the toast would settle your stomach from the medicine," I reminded her.

"It's not the medicine, Edward."

"You have a stomach bug?" I asked.

She shook her head no. I cocked my head to the side and waited for her to respond. I saw a few tears escape her eyes and I went closer to her side. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and urged her to tell me what was going on.

"I'm pregnant, Edward!"

My arm dropped down to my side and I backed away from Bella. I dragged my hands through my hair and paced around. Now, I would never get my chance. This would permanently link Alec and Bella together forever; he would always be in the picture. Bella was having Alec's baby…

Wait.

"How far along are you?"

"Three months," she replied.

I sank down against the wall. Three months. That's how long it had been, approximately, since we had sex.

"Is it Alec's?"

"No," she replied, sinking down against the wall next to me. "Alec and I haven't had sex in months. He's been gone just about every night. It's yours, Edward," she told me. I put my hand on her knee. She leaned her head against my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders again.

Bella was pregnant. With my baby. Bella wouldn't share that link with Alec— she was going to share it with me. I couldn't wait to see her stomach swell with our baby growing inside her.

"You are keeping our baby, right?"

The door slammed closed.

"Your baby?" I heard a voice say.

"Alec…" Bella called out as I helped her back up to her feet. She hurried toward him but he instantly backed away from her.

"You're pregnant?" he questioned and Bella nodded. "And it's Edward's…"

"It was only once, I swear. You and I had that big fight and we were both drunk…" Bella sobbed.

Alec put his hands up and interrupted the rest of Bella's explanation. "I don't want to hear it. You think any of that bullshit is an excuse? We're engaged and now you're having another man's baby. There's no coming back from that!"

I stood back and let them talk. Things were tense and complicated enough without me interfering.

Instead, I thought of the tiny, peanut sized- I thought-it's about the size of a peanut right now— life growing inside Bella. I'd have to start reading a shitload of books. I was in no way prepared to become a father- I knew absolutely nothing. I never had little kids around me growing up. There were no siblings or cousins around; it was always just me. I had zero experience when it came to kids or babies. At least I had six months or so to prepare; I hoped that Bella knew more than me, so one of us knew a little something.

I began to wonder what the baby's sex was. Was Bella carrying a baby girl or baby boy? I didn't care, as long as he or she was healthy, that's all that truly mattered. Deep down inside though, I wanted a little girl; Daddy's little girl. She'd look just like Bella; she would have deep chocolate brown eyes and hair that flowed down in curls. She would have fair skin with that same rosy hue that resided under her cheeks. That smile, which she would share with her mother, would be trouble; she would have me wrapped around her tiny finger. I could picture her already, sitting on Bella's lap— my two girls, looking exactly alike.

"I always knew you two had something," I heard Alec yell, eyeing me from across the room.

"It was just that once," Bella swore to him.

"It doesn't even matter. I need time to think, Bella, away. Time to sort out my feelings and realize what I want. I don't know if I can, or want, to share my wife with another man. It will never be just you and I anymore, and I'm not talking about the baby. You and Edward will always have a connection now and he will constantly be around. Not to mention, the baby walking around will be a constant reminder of your infidelity," Alec told her and turned to walk out. But Bella grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. "There's nothing you can say to change my mind here, Bella."

I was worried about Bella now. She was still fragile after her mini-breakdown that occurred over the past twelve weeks. She barely had a dose of medication in her, but she would probably have had to stop taking that now anyway. Her body was going to undergo so many changes; the hormones raging through her body would really fuck with her wellbeing. Now, she was being dumped and I had no idea what effect that would have on her, and adversely, the baby.

"Time isn't going to change anything, Alec," Bella began to say. "You're right, about everything. I cheated and I'm carrying around the constant reminder of it in my belly. If I was honest with myself, I would have known that this wasn't going to work the moment I decided, drunk or not, to sleep with Edward," she said, wiping away her stray tears.

"What are you saying?" Alec asked.

Bella looked down at her hands and started to twist her engagement up and off her finger. She grabbed Alec's hand and placed the ring in the center of his palm, closing his fingers around it. "It's not going to work, Alec. Not now, not ever…especially with all this. The timing just isn't right for us. There's no reason to delay the inevitable. You and I both know that after you sort this out, there will be no way you are going to stick around. I'm sorry, Alec."

Alec looked down at the ring in his hand and back up at Bella. He took her face into his hands and kissed her on the cheek. Bella wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight as she let her tears flow freely. He pried himself loose from Bella's grip and wiped away some of her tears. They both smiled at each other and then Alec looked towards me. He didn't say a word. I was surprised that he didn't look angry, or even upset, but at peace. Maybe this baby stopped something that wasn't good for either of them, not just Bella. Maybe she wasn't right for him just as much as he wasn't right for her.

Alec smiled once more at Bella before turning around and walking out the door. Bella collapsed down onto the couch and let out a deep breath. Her tears had slowed and she, too, seemed at peace. I stepped forward and placed myself next to her.

"It was the right thing to do. Having someone else's baby probably isn't the best way to start a marriage," Bella said to me.

"Probably not," I replied with a bit of nervous laughter.

"Alec was safe, dependable. I knew exactly what I was getting by agreeing to marry him. But, I never felt that spark, that undeniable sensation, that he was the one. Nothing ever made me feel that I would have been terribly broken if he decided to leave first. That should have been my first hint that this wasn't going to work," she explained to me.

"Well, nothing was ever set in stone. Now, both of you can live your own lives and figure out what you want out of it. Who you want out of it," I told her, leaning in closer.

Alright, so it wasn't my best move. Moving in on my best friend/girl I love right after she calls off her engagement because she's pregnant with my baby. But who could blame me? Everything was lining up for me now. Alec was out of the picture and forever and we would be forever connected through the tiny life that was growing inside her. If I couldn't make this work now, I didn't think it ever would.

I wanted her more than ever now that she was pregnant. I wanted to be there for every doctor's appointment, every late night craving and every kick our baby made. I didn't just want her anymore- I wanted this baby too. I never even thought about being a dad before. But now that it was happening, I was surprised at how thrilled I was. I loved this baby before I had even seen him or her, or even heard the heartbeat.

"Edward…" she said, but I didn't let her finish. I brought my lips to hers. I pulled her close to me and let our lips linger. But her hand came between us and pushed me away.

"Bella, this is it. This is our time. You're having our baby. I want you, I want the baby, and I want us. Can't you feel it?"

She smiled, but didn't say a word. She brought her hand up to caress my cheek, and I leaned against her soft flesh. "Edward, I'm happy that we're having this baby. Honestly I am. But now isn't our time. I just broke off an engagement. I'm just starting to pull my life back together after being out of it for twelve weeks. You aren't a rebound. It would be so easy to fall into your always open arms and have you love me. But it isn't fair to you because no matter how wrong Alec might have been for me, I did care for him a lot. It is sad for me to let him go,"

"So, now what?" I asked, leaning back and sitting further away from her.

"We have a baby together. We do this together. I'm just not ready to throw myself into another relationship. I want to focus on getting myself healthy and preparing to be a mother. You have a lot to focus on too, I'm sure you're not prepared to be a father either. I think that we have a lot to do as individuals before we think about starting a relationship."

I sank down into the couch. I couldn't hide my disappointment. Okay, so maybe everything she said was true. It didn't mean that the truth didn't suck. We did both have a lot to think about and accomplish in these next months before the baby arrived. We had finances to sort through, a baby room to furnish- shit, we might even have to move— classes to teach us how to be parents, and Bella would need childbirth classes. There was a lot that had to be done. I just hoped, wanted, us to be together through it.

"All right," I said to her.

She scooted closer to me, leaning her head against my shoulder. "Please, don't be upset. You're the greatest guy I know, and I mean that. Any girl, including myself, would be lucky to have you. I didn't say never, I said not now. I need you though; I need my best friend. I'm scared," she admitted.

I wrapped my arm around her and shifted myself around to face her. "Scared about what?"

"It's scary to have a baby, don't you think? We're going to responsible for a life, Edward. Everything this baby knows and learns will be from us. We, in a way, control his or her destiny. It's a big responsibility. Plus, are we financially sound? Do I have the mental strength to get through this? What about after I deliver? I'm probably at risk for postpartum depression. There's so much to think about."

"I'm right here. Whatever happens, we'll face it together. We're in this together, Bella. I'll be here for whatever you need. Mangos at midnight, foot rubs or doctor's visits. I'm your guy," I told her, offering my hand to hold.

She grasped hold of it and smiled. "Together."

Things might not be where I wanted them to be. But, I was only man in Bella's life. I was the father of her baby. My place was cemented in her life forever. There has got to be some chance for things to progress into something more, right?

Regardless, I realized, I needed her in my life. I couldn't run away when my feelings got too strong and shut her out. I needed her anyway I could get her; either as my girlfriend or best friend. Being friends with her was better than not having her at all.

Because without her, my life would be miserable at best.

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><p><em><strong>AN: I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter! <strong>_

_**From here on out, things between Edward and Bella will become more complicated and things will heat up!**_

_**Don't be mad at Bella for her choices and that she didn't jump right into Edward's arms. She knows what she has in him— she just needs some time! So, try to understand her ;)**_

_**Please read, review and alert! Thanks soo much!**_

_**Happy Reading!**_


	6. The Other Half of Me

Make it Fly

Chapter 6- The Other Half of Me

_**AN: I am so sorry for the delay! My computer died on me I had to wait a week in order to get a new one. But I finally got it up and running, it is absolutely fabulous and now, I should be good to go!**_

_**I should have a lot more time to write now, so be on the lookout for more frequent updates! For all my stories!**_

_**Hope you enjoy it!**_

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><p>I should have been back at the recruiting station by now. Yet my ass was still firmly planted on the park bench.<p>

_Pregnant…Bella was pregnant!_

I had been on this same park bench for the past hour, watching all the kids with their mothers or nannies. I knew I seemed like a fucking pedophile, but I still didn't move an inch. I watched them climb the jungle gym or slide down the slide. I watched as they squealed in happiness as the swings flew higher and higher into the air. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the happiness that was clearly evident in every child's eyes. It was simplicity that could make a child smile. It was like, "Oh! It's a rock!", Then they would giggle a bunch and run away smiling, like they had just found a hidden treasure.

Would my child be that happy? Would I be able to place a smile that wide on my kid's face?

Regardless of my parenting abilities, that baby was coming. It was going to come whether I was ready, or the more likely situation that I wasn't.

My mind had been in tangles since I found out a week ago about Bella. The night I found out, the shock had made me think I was happy— not to say that I wasn't. But as time moved on, worry crept in to mix with the happiness. Shit, could we really do this? The whole thing: have a baby, raise It, and care for it. We could really fuck up this kid's life! If things didn't work out, we didn't have a receipt where we could return it. This was a lifetime obligation. What the fuck did we know about raising a kid? I was caught between bliss and being scared shitless. I didn't know what to think.

I don't know why I thought about it like there was any way around it. Bella was having this baby; the question was if I was going to step up or not. That answer was simple: yes. I would have stepped up even if the baby wasn't mine and she had just been alone. Of course I was going to take responsibility. That didn't stop me from wondering what the fuck I was doing or from being scared shitless.

All I knew was that I was thankful the baby wasn't coming tomorrow. I had six months or so to get my shit together and figure out what to do.

Bella seemed to be handling everything fine. She went on with her life as though not much had changed. She spent a bit more time in the bathroom and slept a bit more, but other than that, she seemed normal.

Alec had come by a few days ago and cleared out all his shit. He and Bella barely spoke two words to each other. She sat in the living room, reading some book, while Alec was in what used to be their room, packing all of his things. When he was done, he stared at Bella as if he wanted to say something, but instead he dropped his key on the kitchen counter and walked out of the door. I half expected water-works from Bella once he had left, but instead she said she was relieved that it was all over. She had other things to focus on, like the pregnancy.

We hadn't told anyone yet. Bella wanted to go to the doctor first, make sure everything was in proper order before dropping this bombshell on everyone. Not only was she telling everyone that she was no longer engaged, she had to tell people that it was because she was having my kid. Tough, if you ask me. I was pretty confident that our friends wouldn't give a shit; they would probably be happy and assume we would be getting together.

Except we weren't.

I understood— really, I did. She was newly single, dealing with a breakup, hormones from the pregnancy and the realization that her life, and mine, would never be the same again. Everything in our lives was about to change. I couldn't realistically expect that we would just jump into a relationship. So… why did I hope that it would happen anyway? My only consolation was that, as she was single and being pregnant, I doubted she was going to search for anyone else now. I would be the only man in her life, and I could only hope that with time she would see what was right in front of her.

Finally, I snapped out of my thoughts and went back to the recruiting station. I really shouldn't have been late since I needed to leave early, but who the fuck cared? Today was Bella's first doctor's appointment. I wanted to be there and experience all this shit with her. Plus, I didn't want her to feel like she was alone in this, because she wasn't, at all.

When I got back to the apartment, she wasn't there. I thought that was odd, because she had said she was going to be leaving work early. I noticed that her nurse's shoes were already in the shoe organizer, so she must have already been home. The mail had already been sorted on the counter. I looked in her bedroom and the bathroom, but both were empty, yet Bella was nowhere to be found. I was about to call her cell phone when she came through the door, breathless. She was in her running gear, iPod buds still in her ears.

"I know I'm late. I took the long route home," she said, still catching her breath. "Let me just wash my face quickly and change my clothes, and then we can leave."

"What were you doing?" I asked her.

She looked at me as if I was a retard. "Running… isn't that obvious?" she asked, waving her hands up and down her body, motioning to the clothes that clearly indicated what she had been doing.

Bella had picked up running in college. She needed some sort of outlet to let out emotions and keep her occupied. Plus, it kept her in great shape. She tried to run at least three or four times a week. It shouldn't have caught me by surprise that she was running.

"Shouldn't you stop doing that?"

"Why?" she questioned as she grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

"Uh, because you're pregnant?"

"So?"

"So? You're pregnant! Isn't that, like, unhealthy, or some shit?"

"I'm pregnant, not crippled, Edward. I can do all my normal activities, as long as I stay hydrated and eat the proper foods. I don't need to act any differently. As long as I feel up for it, I can do it. I read online that it's actually healthy to exercise and stay in shape during pregnancy. It helps for a better delivery," she told me.

"I don't know, B. Running seems pretty strenuous work; it could be unnecessary stress on the baby," I said.

"Well, Mr. Worry-wart, good thing we are going to the doctor. I'm sure she can sort this all out for us," she reasoned, grabbing an apple and heading to the bathroom to get ready to leave.

She was quiet as we began our drive out to Long Island. Bella hadn't switched her doctors since she had moved into the city all those years back. All of her doctors were still on Long Island because that was where she felt comfortable going.

I glanced over at her and saw her twiddling her fingers and pulling at her shirt; she was nervous.

"What's wrong, B?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing. I'm fine," she answered robotically.

"Come on. I've known you forever. I know when something is bothering you. Now, spill."

I saw her look at me from the corner of my eye. She took her bottom lip into her mouth and nibbled on it, another nervous habit of hers. "I'm scared, Edward. Scared of what the doctor is going to tell me, if the baby is okay. I'm scared I'm not going to be a good enough mother or that I'm going to screw up. I'm just so scared about everything. Maybe you were right about the running. What if I've already did something wrong?"

I reached over and took her hand into mine, leaving our intertwined hands resting in her lap. "Look, I was probably just overreacting. I'm sure that nothing bad could have come from a few runs. We'll ask the doctor today and we'll know. I know that it's scary. I've been freaking out since you told me, half-happy and half-scared. But at least we have each other. Whatever happens, we're in this together. We can figure out how to get by, just like we have with everything else."

"Thanks. It means a lot that you didn't, like, run in the opposite direction when I told you. I'm happy that I'm doing this with you," she told me with a smile and a light squeeze of my hand.

Once I parked, I reached over the center console and placed a kiss on her cheek. Like clockwork, her cheeks filled up with a rosy hue and her head fell in slight embarrassment. I couldn't help but laugh at her predictability. I got out of the car and went over to Bella's side to help her out and grab her hand.

"Ready?" I asked her.

"Ready as I'll ever be," she replied as we made our way into the large building.

Bella had to fill out a shitload of paper about all her information and symptoms. When her last period was, did her breasts ache, was she experiencing morning sickness, cravings, or fatigue, and a bunch of other bullshit. As I glanced around, I noticed that I was the only male in there; a few other women occupied the waiting room, some of which were visibly pregnant. I couldn't imagine having Bella go through this alone. I felt sympathy towards those other women, wondering if they were always alone.

"Do you have any family medical problems that I should add to this list?" she asked me.

I had to think, since most of my life my parents had sheltered me from knowing about any misfortune. "I don't think so. I just know that my grandmother, on my mother's side, died from breast cancer. I'll have to ask my parents if anything else runs in the family."

"All right. I'll write that down, and we can always update it next time."

Bella hopped up after that and walked toward the reception counter. She spoke briefly with the receptionist before a nurse lead her into the back where the exam rooms were. I went to get up and follow, but the nurse told me to stay put.

"She has to get examined first. Just give her a few minutes alone with the doctor, and I'll come out and get you before the show starts," the nurse said enthusiastically with a smile.

I shot Bella one last smile before I sat back down, tapping my feet against the floor. I hoped that Bella would be all right in there by herself. I really should have gone in there with her; it wasn't like I hadn't seen it all before anyway. My legs wouldn't stop bouncing up and down, and I kept fidgeting in my seat. I couldn't wait until I could be right back next to her and make sure she was okay.

After what seemed like an hour, the nurse finally came out to get me. I nearly ran into the room where she was laying down with her jeans unbuttoned and her shirt pulled up to reveal her still slim stomach, but for the first time I noticed a tiny bump. If you looked at her with her clothes on, you'd never really notice it. Now, with her bare stomach in front of me, it looked just a bit swollen. It was the most beautiful sight in the world.

"The doctor just went to look at your urinalysis. She should be right back in," the nurse informed us and left us alone.

"Everything okay?" I asked her, grabbing her hand and enclosing it in mine.

"Yeah, Edward. The doctor said that so far everything looks perfectly normal."

"What did she do?"

"The normal stuff. Listened to my heart and lungs, checked my blood pressure and then did, ya know, gynecological stuff," she said, with a blush on her cheeks.

"Okay, what now?"

"We get to see our baby," she told me with a wide smile on her face.

The doctor knocked and then came in and introduced herself to me. She informed us, as if we didn't know, that Bella was indeed pregnant and all-around healthy. Bella still needed to get blood drawn to undergo a battery of tests that were necessary. The doctor seemed confident that everything would turn out to be just fine.

"Okay, Bella, this is probably going to be cold," the doctor told her as she squirted a bluish gel onto her abdomen.

Dr. Gerandy began to move the wand-like tool across her belly, and all of a sudden a loud whooshing sound filled the room. On the screen, it just looked like a black and white mess, but somewhere in the middle of that mess, a tiny peanut-sized baby was growing.

"So, based on the date of your last period and what I see here, you're about 13 weeks pregnant. Next week, you'll be in your second trimester and start to feel a lot more normal, well aside from being pregnant. I'd say that your due date is October 26th. Congratulations!"

I kissed the top of Bella's head and stared at the screen. She had tears along the rim of her eyes and a smile that went from ear to ear.

"Where is the baby?" I asked. I knew Bella had an idea of what she was seeing, being around these monitors all the time. To me, it looked like a three-year-old's drawing with a black pen.

Both women looked and smiled at me. It was Bella who sat up slightly and pointed to the middle of the screen. Her fingers traced a tiny blob of grey-white matter. "You see that…" she said, pointing to a specific section of the ultrasound, "…the little area that seems like a big circle? That is our baby's head."

"It's so much bigger than the rest of its body! How is that normal?"

The doctor laughed at my nervous excitement. "That is entirely normal. The baby's head grows at a quicker pace. Over the next few weeks, as the organs further develop, the body length will catch up with the head and be in perfect proportion. I assure you, Edward."

"Everything looks okay, though?" Bella questioned.

"Everything looks perfectly normal. The size of the baby is within a normal range. Your uterus is a good size and everything seems in perfect placement. Now, Edward, I would like your blood to be tested for something specific to see if Bella needs a special injection toward the end of her pregnancy," the doctor informed me.

Injection? "What does my blood have anything to do with her?"

"Well, half your DNA makes up the baby. There is something called an Rh factor that is a protein on the surface of blood cells. If you two have opposite types, the baby could end up with your Rh factor rather than Bella's. If that happens, her body may fight against the baby as if it were a foreign substance. So she would need an injection to prevent that. It happens quite often, so it's nothing to worry about."

I was skeptical and worried about anything that could hurt Bella or the baby, but the doctor's assurance was all I had to go on. Bella seemed happy and was positively glowing. Her radiance was infectious, and I couldn't help but be happy, too.

"Do you two have any questions for me?" the doctor asked as she was finishing up her notes in Bella's chart.

"I have been running for a few years now, and I continued after I found out I was pregnant. Is that safe? I didn't cause any damage, did I?" Bella asked nervously.

"No. Everything looked fine. I would say that since you were already a runner and you have a healthy, low-risk pregnancy, you can continue to run like you normally would," the doctor told us.

Me, being the ever worried one now that I had two girls —well perhaps a woman and a boy to worry— about, had to ask more questions. "What things should she look out for? Is there anything she should do differently? When should she stop?"

Both ladies laughed at me again. "No need to panic, Edward. I think that Bella's body should tell her everything she needs to know. She is pretty in-tuned with her body's signals to itself. I know from speaking with her she already feels like her balance is a bit off, which is normal since it does shift during pregnancy. So she knows to prevent falling. She knows to support her body and drink the proper amount of fluids. If you do ever feel contractions—at any point, not just while running— you should call me. But other things, such as shortness of breath, dizziness or lightheadedness, should signal you to take it easy. I think that you could run up until your third trimester. You might find it too much, with the aches and pains pregnancy brings along. But I think that you'll know when to go easy with the running."

The doctor gave Bella her prenatal vitamins and advised her to get a check-up once a month during her second trimester. She told her that she needed to gain more weight, since she hadn't gained much yet, but that should be easier once she could keep more food down. Apparently, Bella should gain around thirty pounds throughout the entire pregnancy. She scoffed at that, but then the doctor went pound by pound explaining what it was needed for, and she was silenced. Otherwise, Bella should go on with her normal life and everything would be fine. We got a sonogram picture to take home with us.

As we were walking out, Bella couldn't stop asking about French fries and begging me for some Burger King. But I had an even bigger idea to ask her about.

"I'll get you whatever you want, baby. I just think we should make another stop…"

"What kind of stop?" Bella said skeptically raising an eyebrow at me.

"We're already out on Long Island…"

"Edward…. Today?" she questioned, already knowing where I was going with this conversation.

"We are going to have to tell them eventually. You're almost in your second trimester; we have a picture. Hell, my mother is already going to think that we hid this for longer and that we're probably married. You know how she is."

She took her bottom lip into her mouth and a nervous look took over her face. Reluctantly, she nodded her head, and I took off in the direction of my parents' house. I knew that this was something that had to be done.

My parents were quite understanding people, and I had always been close to them. Bella had been pretty close to them as well. Through the years of us growing up together and being attached at the hip most of the time, my parents had gotten to know Bella quite well. Bella's parents were usually absent most times. Bella's father was a retired cop; he had retired when we were close to graduating high school. Her mother was eccentric and a bit flaky. She tended to have a hobby-of-the-week and was more of a friend to Bella than a mother. When Bella graduated from high school, her parents had taken off to see the country. I don't remember the last time Bella had seen them, but I knew that she often received postcards from their latest adventure.

I was most worried about telling my mother— she had always believed that Bella and I would end up together. She constantly said how well we got along and that our relationship reminded her of my parents' relationship in its early stages. We were always accused of ignoring the chemistry that was right under our noses. I was certain that she would tell us that we had been hiding our relationship from her and that more was going on than what we told her.

Bella seemed to relax once she got her french fries and seemed to be content. I, on the other hand, was shitting a brick.

As soon as we pulled into the driveway, my mother was already making her way towards the car— to Bella's side of course. She pulled her into a hug automatically and whispered something into her ear.

"Bella, dear. I haven't seen you in such a long time. I've missed you," my mother cooed.

"I've missed you too, Esme. It's great to see you."

"So, to what do your father and I owe this visit, my son?" my mother asked me when she reached to me to pull me in for a hug.

"Bella had a doctor's appointment out here, so we figured we would stop by and visit," I explained.

"Hmm, any big news?" my mother asked, with her all-knowing look and wide smile across her face.

"Let's go inside, Mom."

Her smile only grew when I said that, assuming that our news had to do with our relationship. It did, just not in the way she thought. We followed her up the porch and into the house. I was surprised to see my father in the living room, in casual clothes, watching television. He normally was very uptight and all about work. It was unusual to see him so relaxed.

"Bella!" my father said, yet another person to greet her before me. He embraced her as if she was his daughter, and he, too, whispered something into her ear, causing Bella to smile. "Son," he said as he approached me to shake my hand. "What is this big news that your mother tells me you two have to share with us?"

My father was never one to skirt around matters; he always came right out with things.

"Well, Esme, Carlisle, Edward and I recently found out something… interesting," Bella started to say.

I moved over from the fireplace I was standing next to in order to sit beside Bella on the loveseat. My parents were sitting across from us on the other couch. I grabbed Bella's hand and gave it a tight squeeze before I spoke. "Bella is pregnant. It's mine," I said, just blurting it out. No reason to beat around the bush.

My father gasped and my mother pretended to be shocked, but she couldn't completely hide the small smirk that appeared on her face.

"But I thought you two weren't together..." my mother brought up, her smirk growing a bit wider. Like I had expected, she thought this meant we were dating.

"We're not. It was a one night thing; we were both a bit drunk," I admitted.

"Yeah, now it's just two best friends, having a baby together," Bella added.

My parents glanced at each other and then stared at us as if we both had multiple heads.

"I don't understand…" my mother said.

"I'm with your mother on this one," my father said.

"What's not to get?" I asked, a bit dumbfounded. They were old enough to know how biology worked. Alcohol plus two horny people minus a condom equal a baby in nine months. There wasn't much to really understand.

"You're not getting married?" my mother half-asked and half-stated.

"I'm sorry, Esme, but we're not. I just broke off my engagement, and added to that, I just found out I'm having a baby. Now isn't exactly the time to be starting a new relationship," Bella told my mother. She looked to me to add something, but to be honest; I didn't know what to say. I would actually love to marry Bella. I knew I had to give her the space that she needed. I knew that she was dealing with a lot of changes. But was it that crazy of an idea that she actually marries and end up with the guy that fathered her child? I didn't think it was that crazy...

"This wouldn't be a new relationship. You and Edward have practically been together since high school. It just seems like you two fight awfully hard against something that seems perfect. If a child isn't a sign from God that you two should end up together, I don't know what else is!" my mother declared, throwing her hands up into the air and stalked off to the kitchen.

My mother certainly had a flair for the dramatic

"I think what your mother is trying to say is: don't you two love each other?" my father questioned.

"Of course we do!" we stated in unison. We looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh at our perfectly timed exclamation.

Now it was my father's turn to give us the all-knowing, I'm-a-parent-so-I-know-more-than-you look, and smile. "I think you two will figure things out just fine. Let me go rein in your mother, as if I ever could..."

My father came back in shortly after with my mother and a few trays of some appetizers. My mother kept flashing Bella and I odd looks as we picked at the food, but we both, or at least I, tried to ignore them. She would get over it.

"So, when are you due, dear?" my mother asked Bella.

"October, I believe the doctor said the 26th," she replied.

"Oh my! You'll be nice and pregnant for the warm summer months. Good luck with that!" my mother told her, laughing.

"Edward, what are you going to do about the Air Force?" my father asked me.

He was the first person to bring it up. Then again, we hadn't really told anyone. But Bella and I hadn't even begun to discuss many things, especially something as touchy as the Air Force. I really hadn't thought much about it either. Did I want to continue to go through with my plans to become a pilot and get my wings? Fuck yes, I did. On the other hand, I didn't know if I could leave Bella and my child, for a year. I didn't know if I was being selfish or smart by trying to provide for my family. There were so many things to consider and I didn't even know where Bella stood on the issue.

"I don't think he knows yet. We haven't really talked about much; everything is so new and complicated. Plus, he has some time to decide. But, whatever he decides, the baby and I will be there to support him." Bella answered for me, squeezing my hand to emphasize what she had said. She smiled at me and nodded, assuring me that she meant what she said. There was no way I could ever deserve this girl; she was beyond amazing.

I didn't think there would ever be a good time to leave and spend a year away from Bella and the baby. If I left when I was originally slated to leave, then I would miss my child's birth and all the firsts that would come. If I left later and was able to experience all of that, then my kid would be more able to miss me and be able to comprehend my absence. I did not want to be an absentee parent. It seemed like there was no good time to leave.

"We will support you with whatever you decide as well, sweetheart. If you do decide to leave, we will be here to help Bella and the baby," my mother offered.

"Thanks, Mom. When we decide, you guys will be the first to know," I told her. I looked over at Bella to see her yawning and her eyes beginning to flutter. "I think that we're going to get going. Bella over here seems to be quite tired. She is normally is napping by now."

"No dinner?" my mother asked.

"No, thank you. Edward and I will grab something on the way back into the city," Bella replied.

"Nonsense. I'll pack up some dinner for you two that can be heated up when you're ready to eat. Let me go pack it up," she said and scurried off into the kitchen. My mother always was the nurturing type, needing to help and take care of everyone in her presence.

My father came up to Bella and me and placed a hand on each of our shoulders. "Most parents might be put off by their child coming in and saying they're having a baby with someone they have never really dated. That's not to say that I agree with everything you two have decided. But I am truly happy that you two are giving me a grandchild. No matter what happens between the two of you, I know that you'll both be the best parents in the world and always put the child's needs above your own. Congratulations," he told us once more and kissed Bella on the cheek.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"Yeah, thanks Dad," I added, shaking his hand.

After my mother packed us up with almost a week's worth of food and we finally managed to break free of her hugs and kisses, we were back on the highway, finally on our way home. It felt like we'd been gone forever. Yet it was only seven at night.

"That wasn't too bad," Bella mentioned with a yawn.

"What did my parents whisper to you when we got there today?"

She giggled as she thought back to what I was asking about. "Oh, the same thing. 'Are you marrying my son yet?' And then your father told me that I was glowing, as if he could just tell I was pregnant."

"Oh, that's it?"

"Yeah, what did you think they would tell me?"

"I don't know," I replied.

"I'm glad that we did this and that I have you, Edward."

"I'm always going to be here, Bella. Always, that's never going to change, baby," I assured her. We were stuck at a light, so I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled as I leaned my forehead against the temple of her head.

"I wonder what my parents are going to say…"

"No idea," I said absentmindedly. I wasn't paying much attention to what Bella was saying. My mind was traveling at the speed of light with thoughts of Bella, the baby, the Air Force, and marriage.

With my parents, we, mainly Bella, had made it seem like marriage wasn't the least bit on the horizon. I couldn't deny that it had been on my mind, though. I wanted to do this right. Give Bella a gorgeous ring that would sparkle off her slender finger. Let her pick out a princess-style white wedding gown and get all dolled up. Pronounce my love for her in front of all our friends and family. It wouldn't just be because we were having this baby together, but because there was honestly no other woman I could see spending my life with.

Bella was perfect; from her looks to her giving personality to the sexy, sassy, quirky things she said and did. There were a billion and a half things that I loved about Bella. I'd be the luckiest guy in the world to be able to marry her.

"Edward? Are you listening to me?" she asked.

"No, I'm sorry. I was thinking about some things. What were you saying?"

"I was talking about the nursery. But maybe your thoughts are more interesting than my ideas. What has you so preoccupied?"

"Can I ask you something? Please, keep an open mind." I pleaded to her.

"Anything."

"Will you marry me?"

"Edward!" she exclaimed. She was smiling and blushing, thinking that I was joking just to embarrass her with flattery. I flashed her a look to show her I was serious and her smile dropped and her eyebrows furrowed. "You're serious?" I nodded at her. "Edward, we're not even dating! Why are we going to get married?"

"We're having a baby together, Bella! I love you and I want to be with you. Why does this have to be as complicated as you make it seem?"

"Our relationship has always been complicated, Edward. From that first time we kissed. All of your relationships have been complicated. Just because we're having a baby doesn't mean we _have _to get married. I'm not getting married out of some obligation you feel you have for me!" she yelled.

"I just told you I love you, and you think that I only said it because of a stupid obligation?"

"Oh, please. We always tell each other that we love one another," she scoffed. But when she turned to face me, her face turned serious. She could tell by looking at me that this time, when I told her I loved her, it wasn't a best friend love. This wasn't an "I love ya," type of thing. This was serious, L-O-V-E, his-and-hers sinks love. "Oh. Edward…"

I put my hand up without looking at her. I knew what was coming next and to be honest, I didn't want to hear another rejection from her. "I said what I said and I meant it. I don't want things to change. I want to be in your life and the baby's life, any way you'll have me. I doubt these feelings I have will change. If you decide yours do, then I'm here and I promise I will make you happy. Until then, it will be like it always is."

"Okay," was all she said.

We stayed quiet the rest of the car ride home. Bella kept her eyes straight ahead, as did I, for the most part. I couldn't help myself; I had to sneak a few glances at her. Once I was parked in the garage, Bella and I wordlessly went up into our apartment and dug into the food. It was delicious; my mother mad the best chicken parmigian. I took our dishes and had intended to start washing them right away. Bella walked out of the dining area and toward her bedroom. In the doorframe, she paused and turned to me. Her face was cast downward and she was looking up at my from beneath her full eyelashes. She was nibbling at her bottom lip and shifting her weight between her feet.

"What's wrong, B?"

"I have to ask you something," she said nervously.

"Go ahead."

"Make love to me?"

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: So, a bit of a cliff-hanger there for the ending!<em>**

**_What will Edward say to her? Will he give in to his obvious temptation?_**

**_Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favorites that everyone has added! I really appreciate them all! You guys are honestly the best!_**

**_Happy Reading and please review!_**


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